Another Day
by twistedly-disturbed
Summary: What would you do if you lost everything in just one moment. Demons haunting you every moment. This is a story of what I did and how eventually I don't fear another day. Will have a lot of cannon parts but is AU. summary sucks, just read!
1. Chapter 1

Another Day

By twistedly_disturbed

 **Summary:** What would you do if you lost everything in just one moment. Demons haunting you every moment. This is a story of what I did and how eventually I don't fear another day.

Will have a lot of cannon part but is AU. don't know the exact pairings yet but will have femslash and slash.

 **Disclaimer:** I own nothing, and am making no profit. The makers of glee just gave me these lovely characters and now I wanna mess with them

 **Santana's Pov**

It's been a long month, it's flashed by with no real recognition. I went to school, I played football and I went where I was told to go afterwards. The only thing that worked in my favor was that the school didn't want to lose their top player so the group home I was placed in was close to my school. Not that I really cared much about staying in the same school, I didn't much care about anything anymore. So when I was notified that I had been placed into a home that would hopefully be keeping me for the next two and a half years till I turned eighteen and that it was in a different state, I didn't care about that either. I just stared blankly till the worker got the hint and left after telling me I'd be leaving tomorrow. I used to have a lot of friends and people I cared about but over the last month they had basically disappeared, I guess they didn't know how to deal with me after everything that happened, but that's ok, I didn't know how to deal with me either. Cleaning out my locker and packing the few things I had bothered to grab before everything was sold passed with no fan fair, one day I was there and the next I just wasn't. But that was life, or at least that was my life now.

The drive to lima ohio from new york passed in a blur, I couldn't tell you what the worker driving was droning on and on about, or what I was even thinking about. I was doing that a lot lately just getting lost in nothing, feeling nothing.

"Santana, Santana" I hear suddenly breaking me out of my daze and I couldn't help the slight jump from the suddenness of it. Looking around I realized we had stopped, I guess we were here. The house was nice enough, I'm sure if I had seen it before all this, I might have even thought it was charming. It looked to be two stories with a large porch in the front, It looked old but well cared for. Climbing out of the car, I half listen as the worker went on about the occupants of the house. It was a father and son, and I'd be their first foster kid. Grabbing my army duffle and laptop bag I followed the worker to the door. A teenager opened the door and the first thing I noticed was the guy's clothing, they were fashionable and kinda out there, not what I was expecting from a small ass town. Thinking about my own comfy jeans and white v-neck, I silently dreaded a family of snobs. But the kid seemed friendly enough if not a little nervous as he lead us into the living room.

As we reached the room, in came a man dressed in a shop shirt, jeans and a baseball cap. I felt myself relax slightly as the worker and the man now introduced as Burt shook hands.

I felt eyes upon me once again and found the rooms occupants looking at me. I guess I had missed something once again.

"This is Santana, and like I explained over the phone, this has been a difficult time for her so please don't take offense if she takes awhile to talk or she zones out. I've been her worker for a month and I've yet to even get eye contact" the worker explains and I wanted to feel irritated at the man for talking about like that or as if I wasn't standing right there but really it didn't matter, maybe these guys would just leave me alone now.

"Hi I'm Burt and this is my son Kurt, I understand that things are probably overwhelming and what not but we'll figure out a system, Our home is your home" Burt says to me after giving the man a disapproving look. I guess I'm not the only one that thought his words were rude and unnecessary. At least Burt seemed like a easy going guy, I knew that I wouldn't stay here long if he hadn't been seemed like the type to not smother me. I had nowhere else to go, and my money was all held up till I turned sixteen but I would have taken off and still will if I have to. With that thought I couldn't help thinking about when the family judge informed me I was now a ward of the state. It was the day after my parents had been killed in the car crash. I had spent the night before in the hospital and the worker came in first thing, talking about all these things I didn't understand and couldn't handle. With my parents death and my abuela refusing to have anything to do with me, I was to be placed in foster care till eighteenth birthday or till my sixteenth when I could apply to be emancipated. Normally I wouldn't have had that option but with my parents estate being what it was, I had more than enough money to look after myself.

"Santana" A voice once more pulls me from my thoughts and I'm almost surprised to notice the worker was gone and the two guys were seated on the couch watching me stand here like a weirdo.

"So we have a couple options for your room, Kurt has just moved into the basement so his old room is open or we have a really nice attic you could use" Burt says after I briefly gaze in his direction to show I was listening.

"Kurt, why don't you show Santana around and I'll order us all some pizza, do you want anything particular?" Burt suggests to his still silent son before directing the question at me.

"Just nothing weird, I guess" I reply and I'm almost amused by their startled looks. I wasn't not talking despite what my worker thought, I just didn't have anything to say to him or even most people but I was asked a question and I had an answer to this one.

"Great, a woman after my own heart, one large boring pizza for us and an overly complicated weird small pizza for kurt" Burt joked as kurt huffed a bit before standing and moving towards me with a smile.

Showing me around didn't take much time, the main floor was the kitchen, living room and a clearly unused dining room, upstairs has three bedrooms and a large bathroom. One door at the end was opened and I followed kurt up a few stairs. I knew immediately that this was where I'd pick to stay. The room was taller that I thought it would be, which was good since I was already tall for my age at 5'8" and who knew if I was done yet. The roof was slanted on both sides meeting at the top, there was wall sized windows on the front and back walls, framed by heavy beige curtains. The double bed was pushed up against the front window but with head of the bed being against the side wall, I knew it was just there because it would be out of the way but I knew I'd keep it there, laying in bed staring out the window sounded kinda nice. Besides that the room was empty.

"My dad is really good at building things so he could build you a closet and maybe a bathroom, if you wanted, ooh and I could help you decorate" Kurt say getting excited. Against my wishes, my mind flashes back to moments of helping my dad work on the house, Mom would be in the background mocking dad cause he'd just end up calling someone after he made it worse, at least when I was younger but we both got better and then she taken to calling us her little handy people. Which at fifteen I'd roll my eyes and grumble, if only I had known how much I'd miss it.

Feeling myself falling apart once again, I ruthlessly push it away and focus on the happily chattering boy. I think I just heard pink something. Heck no.

"No pink" I blurt out causing the boy to startle and turn fully to me with a slight blush.

"Sorry I get excited about this stuff" he mumbles and I see the almost fear cross his face. I knew that look, he was waiting for me to start mocking him. Even before I wouldn't have mocked him but now after everything I actually feel the need to make him feel better.

"Let's make a deal, I don't care what you like, how you act and you don't care what I like and how I act. No judgement" I offer as I walk to place my stuff on the slightly dusty bed. Turning to the still silent boy, I notice that he seemed to have a unsure look on his face. I sigh to myself, this wouldn't be easy, living with strangers, trying find a place for myself. But I had to try, my parents were gone but I wouldn't let them down. I had to find my place, even if all I wanted, if all I deserved was to be laying in a grave instead of my parents.

"Look how about I tell you some things about me that would make it easier to believe that I have nothing to judge you for and that really it could be reasons to be sent back" I lock eyes with him for the first time and I resisted the urge to just sit in the corner and retreat from everything. He seems to be thinking before he shakes his head.

"No, if this thing is going to work, we're going to have to learn to trust even just a little. No judgement and whenever you actually want to tell me those things then ok" he offers before offering me his hand. I'm kinda shocked to be honest, most teenagers were all about the gossip and he just turned some down. Heck even before I would have been all eager to learn something juicy, even if I wouldn't use it against someone. I was a different person now though and I could really get used to not having to watch myself so much around the house. Grabbing his hand in agreement, we both turn as the doorbell rings.

"Guess the foods here" He says with a small laugh.

We both head for the kitchen, as we were leaving the room, I took one last look around the huge open room. It wasn't home, but it was an ok second place.

"Hey guys" Burt greets as he grabs some food and sits at the table. Once again I feel awkward, I feel like so out of place here and all I wanted was to just go home. Don't get me wrong the two were nice and all but I justed wanted my house, I wanted my parents standing around joking and laughing as they all sat down to eat. I brought out of my thoughts as Kurt hands me a plate before taking his own to the table. Grabbing a piece, I head to the table.

" so did you pick what room you wanted?" Burt asks after a few seconds. Placing my slice back down as my stomach churns uncomfortably

"Yeah, I'd like the attic, if that's ok" I answer Burt just nods happily

" sounds great, I have this weekend so we can fix it up, build a closet, get some furniture. We kept it empty since kurt used to use it for his singing since with the door closed it's almost soundproof" Burt stats not noticing Kurt tensing slightly. Guess he's gotten slack for singing too, but I don't say anything, who cared if the boy liked singing.

"I have an idea for the space if thats ok" I say hesitantly but I speak up since I've never been very good at keeping my thoughts to myself.

"Perfect!" Burt says happily.

The rest of dinner passes quickly as Burt and Kurt chat, they try to include me at first but I guess they noticed my desire to just sit here silently. I force one more bit of my food but I just wasn't hungry or in the mood.

"So I guess it's time for the rule talk" Burt says after everything was cleaned up. I tense slightly knowing this was coming but how was this fair, everything was changing, fifteen years knowing what was expected of me and now I have to get used to everything again.

Burt is looking at me with sympathy but determination. And suddenly I'm angry, I've had enough of people looking at me like that. But I just push it down, ignoring it simmering just underneath.

"I know that you're not a child and after everything things are bound to get rough more than once" He starts and I shoot my gaze back to him startled, I was waiting for a list of rules not this. He just chuckles slightly.

"My rules are very simple, be a decent person like honesty, respect, take care of your responsibilities, no drugs, make curfew, and do well in school." He finishes and I'm once again shocked. I've lived by those rules all my life and would continue to do so even if I was on my own. Absent mindedly I grab the dog ties around my neck.

"I can do that" I respond letting go of my dog tags before facing the two smiling guys.

"Perfect, Kurt will you give us a moment please" Burt asks making tense once again, what now.

"Yeah, I'm just going to head to my room for the rest of the night, need to do some homework anyways" Kurt replies before flashing me a smile and leaving. It quiet for a few moments and I feel the haze start to cloud my mind again. Today has been to much, everything has been to much. But before I can retreat to far Burt clears his throat.

" I have a request Santana, I'd like you to see a psychologist" He starts and just like that the anger is back

"I'm not crazy" I snap before I can stop myself. Burt just leans back and looks at me. As the silence becomes longer, I start to count in my head. Anger has always been a problem for me, apparently I get it from my Mami but she taught me tricks when I was younger. So I counted trying to get control.

"I never meant to imply you were, I can't stop you if you want to sit there each time and glare at the doctor, I hope you won't but I can't stop you. I want you to have a safe place to talk to someone. After everything that's the least thing you deserve" Burt states finally and just like that all my anger is gone. Deserve no, I deserved the worst this world had to offer and if I believed in hell, I'd deserve that too. But I'm tired, so exhausted from everything, I just need to get away.

"I don't deserve anything but I'll go" I mumble before standing up. Burt just watches me silently.

"I'd like to go to bed now" I state already moving towards the doorway.

"Good night Santana, I'll see you tomorrow" He simply states and I can feel his eyes on me till I was out of sight. Every stair I climb hits me harder than the last, not my stairs, not my home, not my life. I just wanted everything to go back, I wanted to curl up in my moms arms, I want my dad to run his hand through my hair and tell me its all ok, that this was just a horrible horrible dream. Instead I get an empty room in a stranger's home and the truth that will never happen. I killed my parents and now this is my punishment. As I move my stuff to the floor put the clean bedding on the bed that kurt had given me earlier, I can't stop the silent tears. It was my first driving lesson, we were all so excited, mom had to come to, so we all piled into the car. Mami sat behind Papa and me in the driver seat. I was doing so well they told me, so proud of me, I looked away quickly when they said this. I didn't mean to I was just so happy, it was a reflex to look at them.

I crawled into bed as images of the car coming out of nowhere hitting the right side of the car. I remember waking up against the steering wheel. I hurt everywhere and I was scared turning to my parents I tried to get them to wake up. I was yelling, trying to get free of the airbag and seat belt. They never woke, no matter what I did, they never would. Rolling onto my side I just stared out the window waiting for the sun to raise on my next day of punishment, for another day alone, another day without them.

 **AN:** thanks for reading


	2. Chapter 2

Another Day

By twistedly_disturbed

 **Summary:** What would you do if you lost everything in just one moment. Demons haunting you every moment. This is a story of what I did and how eventually I don't fear another day.

Will have a lot of cannon part but is AU. don't know the exact pairings yet but will have femslash and slash.

 **Disclaimer:** I own nothing, and am making no profit. The makers of glee just gave me these lovely characters and now I wanna mess with them

 **Santana's Pov**

The morning came just like the last, the sky slowly brightening. Oranges, reds, and yellows spreading over the landscape bringing forth a new day. I don't really pay much attention to the sight, I was exhausted, what little sleep I had gotten was filled with images too painful to relive. I knew that I should get up, I had been getting up at this time for years. But the thought of having to get up, facing the world I no longer recognized, just made my body feel like lead and I was just too tired to fight it.

"Santana, you up?" I hear Kurt call as he knocked on the door and I resisted the urge to groan out loud.

"Yeah" I call back, rolling over to face the entrance. It only seconds later the boyish face of Kurt was standing before me and looking at me amused.

" you look up" he teases and I have the urge to throw a pillow at this obviously too cheerful teen's face.

"I said I was up, not vertical" I reply with a groan before forcing myself to sit up and move to get up.

"Um" I hear Kurt uncomfortably start, he's looking away all uncomfortable and I'm confused. I just stood up, what was he all squirmy about. Looking down at myself, I remember that I was just in my boy briefs and my v-neck from yesterday. If this didn't prove that the boy was gay, I didn't know what would.

"Relax, I'm covered and I'm not interested and even if I was I'm not going to just jump you" I simply say as I look through my bag for my shower kit.

"Hey, what's wrong with me, I'm not ugly" The boy exclaimed apparently forgetting his embarrassment as he glared at me. Deciding to get this out of the way once and for all I turn back to the glaring boy.

"Dude, I'm sure you're pretty and all but I'm gay, like rainbow shitting gay," I say with a chuckle before turning back to what I was doing. The silence becomes awkward but I don't bother breaking it, I've always been blunt and to the point. I had a hard time accepting myself when I was younger but I lived in the closet once and I had no intention of doing it again.

"You're not scared to admit that?" He finally asks as I'm moving to leave the room. I could hear the uncertainty in his voice and I knew this conversation had the potential to be drawn out, so I thought carefully.

"I am who I am, someone doesn't like it then they can kiss my ass," I say brushing off the conversation and heading to the bathroom before I could be questioned anymore. I knew the conversation would come up again, it always did with closeted people. I didn't mind that it would, I just hoped it was after I knew him better and not when I was dragging so bad.

The rest of the weekend went by well enough I guess, my room was set up easily, I didn't like much clutter anymore. I didn't even know how long I'd be staying, I had an old couch, table and a small tv set up in the back by the window. I didn't want a bulky closet so we just attached a poll along the wall opposite the bed, a dresser and nightstand completed the look.

But here I am now, staring up at what was to be my new school, I didn't want to go here but I knew better than most that what I wanted mattered little. So sighing I just follow Burt into the school, apparently, the principal wanted to speak to us before I started. Walking into the school, I quickly notice a huge amount of teens wandering around in school athletic gear. I feel dread building, there was no way a school this obsessed with sports won't know about my football records. I used to love to play, getting on that field, blood, sweat, using to push me harder to the goal line. I had continued playing for that month after and before but it brought me no joy, I did it only because it was expected of me because it was routine. I wasn't sure I wanted to play anymore.

Walking into the office, I noticed two men behind a glass door. It was obvious that one was a coach, no one else would dare to dress like he was.

"Come in, come in," the older man said ushering us into the office. Introductions were made and I was correct, the other man was the football coach.

"Whats this about, all Santana's class had been straightened out before she left the old one" Burt says with some confusion.

"Of course, really this is just a standard thing. Santana, we need your guardian to sign some forms and I thought you might like to meet your new coach. I already took care of the paperwork to allow you to play on the team" Figgins explains excitedly.

"Wait, what" Burt asks confused looking between me and the principle.

"You didn't know!, why Santana here is the best wide receiver at the high school level, and she's only been in high school just over a year" Figgins explains hurriedly and I swear I could almost see the cash signs in his greedy eyes.

"You are, that's awesome, finally someone around to share my love of sports" Burt exclaims happily and I feel like having a hissy fit like a three-year-old, I no longer am. No one asked me if I wanted to play anymore, and now that I know Burt's excited I feel like I have to. He opened his home and while I may not wanna be there, it doesn't change that I do owe him for taking me out of the home I was in. This was going to make my life even harder, when I first started playing back in my old school, it was a nightmare. Parents, staff and my school mates were pissed, it was a boy sport and I had no business playing. My parents knew I really wanted to play, I had been playing in leagues since I was little, so they fought for me. I was allowed to play and I was really good, my schoolmates though were not happy. I dealt with bullying, fighting, all kinds of crap and I just knew I'd have to deal with the same thing here.

"Your locker number is on your schedule, see you on the field right after school" the coach finally says something, then get up and leaves.

"Classes start in a few minutes, best go get to your locker and find your homeroom" the principle states handing me my schedule. It's remarkable how this whole conversation happened without a word from me, makes me want to just shake my head. Instead, I just head out to the hall. Finding my locker didn't take long, I was putting my stuff in the locker when I noticed someone walking by with a slushie. I'm not sure why it caught my attention but watching I quickly notice the guy is heading toward a brunette girl. Suddenly the guy throws the slushie at the girl, and almost everyone laughs, the girl just stands there and I can't believe these people. No one moves to help her and most of them just laugh, I was about to head over to the girl but she had just run off to the nearest bathroom and the warning bell was ringing. I am conflicted, on one hand, that girl obviously could use some help but on the other, I was already the new girl, add on to that the football thing. I wasn't scared of being bullied but I just didn't want any more people paying attention to me than they already would. the only plus thing is no one knew my story here. Shaking my head, I gather my books and head to class. Every step away, I felt worse. My parents had always taught me to help people, to offer my hand to people in bad situations. Pushing it down I enter my class as the bell rang.

"morning class" the teacher greets coming to a stop by her desk. the class half-heartedly greets back. She starts rambling on about what they've covered so far, so I take a moment to look around at the other students. There wasn't really anyone that caught my attention, nerds, jocks, a few people that seemed as interested in being here as much as me. I was about to stop looking when she caught my eye. long blonde hair, smooth skin, kissable lips, cheerleader. I wasn't really interested till I saw her eyes, those beautiful green eyes brought me up short. I think I stopped breathing, she must have noticed me staring as she raised her eyebrow in response. I resisted the urge to whip my gaze away and raised an eyebrow in response. Those beautiful eyes seemed to light up in a challenge but despite my desire to give this stunning girl that challenge, I casually return my attention to the teacher. It was only a couple seconds but I could feel the crushing guilt bearing down on me. I had felt happy to have her eyes on me, I had been interested and captivated and I had forgotten. I forgot that I was here, only because I deserved to be punished, I only deserved pain and loneliness. I could almost feel the blaming eyes on me, judging me, condemning me.

The bell finally rang, taking an unnecessarily long time to happen in my opinion. I had spent most of the period between desires to look back at the captivating blonde and hating myself for it. Speed walking out of the room, I can almost feel the air enter my lungs easier. Doing what I have become an expert at I pushed everything down and headed to my next class in a numb daze. I kept an eye out for slushies, now that I knew people here used them as a weapon. I made it to my next class easy enough and I was slightly relieved that Kurt was in this class. Walking over and sitting beside him, I didn't miss the stares and whispers.

"I wouldn't sit there if I was you" Kurt advised quietly and suddenly I'm angry, what is with this fucking school. Anyone even a little different was treated like a walking disease. I was about to respond just that but I stop when I noticed Kurt was wearing different clothes from this morning and I knew it was a big deal since it I had to resist teasing Kurt this morning when it took him almost two hours to get ready.

"what happened to your clothes?" I almost demand and I guess I was a bit loud cause there was suddenly laughing from behind us. Ignoring the now even more hunched form of Kurt for the moment, I turn to face the laughing jocks. I immediately zero in on a mohawked boy that seemed to be leading the laughing.

"What you staring at freak?" one of the boys call back starting, even more, laughter. I can feel myself coming to the end of my control, the rage rolling over me like waves. I can see myself flying over the room and smashing my fists into these pompous jerks faces. It wasn't even just about the comment anymore, all the anger, frustration, helplessness that my life had become feeding my rage. Luckily for me and the jerks, the teacher took that moment to come into the room, I was tempted to unleash on them anyways but I felt myself being jerked back into my seat. Kurt was giving me an embarrassed pleading look, I spent the rest of the class trying to calm down. by the time the bell rang once again, I was calm but my hands were cramping from the white-knuckled grip I had on my desk. I still wanted an answer to my question but Kurt had basically ran from the room before I had the chance to ask him again.

Looking at my schedule I was glad to see I had gym then lunch, maybe I'd be able to work some frustration out in gym class. Walking into the locker room, I easily found my locker, it seemed anyone on a team had an assigned locker. Moving my football gear to the side, I absent-mindedly notice I got to keep my number from before, number three shined brightly against the red of the jersey.

The gym clothes were a simple red shirt and black running shorts, it only took moments to get changed. walking into the gym, I immediately notice most people standing on the far side of the gym, so I head towards them. Walking past the bleachers, I hear laughing mostly covering the sound of someone singing. I knew that kind of laugh, they were cruel, amusement found in tearing someone down. Looking up I feel disappointed, it was some cheerleaders and right up front holding a laptop was the blonde from first class. Even partaking in cruel childish behavior I had to admit she was almost impossible to look away from, it wasn't because she looked beautiful, which she did. No, it was that bored look in her eyes that had me hooked. Finally reaching the group as the teacher came in, I forced myself to focus on class. It seemed I was in luck today we were going to be playing dodgeball and there were a few of the boys from my last class to aim at. Lining up with my team, I could feel eyes on me. Looking at the opposite team, I could tell the boys had the same idea as me, seemed like they were going after me. Good, game on. Not bothering to run for the ball, I brace myself and wait. It doesn't take long before one of the boys whipped a ball at me, going for embarrassment, I used my hard earned skills and caught the ball inches from my chest. The boys stop in shock as the one who threw it angerly moved off the court. I may spend most of my time catching balls but I knew I could do some damage, but not yet to many people around to accidently get him. so I threw the ball easily at someone else at their team. the game continued on, with the boys throwing balls at me but I just dodged them. I could feel myself relaxing as the game continued, my blood was pumping. soon enough it was just me and three of the boys on the other team. the teacher tried to call it but I waved him off, no this was what I've been waiting for. I had a ball in my hands and I used it to bounce the incoming balls to the side. Quickly I spotted my opening and whipped the ball at one's feet, causing him to face plant. most of the class was yelling at the two remaining boys to get me out. a ball whips by my head and I feel like laughing, the part of me that hates the world, the part that's furious is raising up, helping me focus. grabbing a ball, I run to the line, they've run out of balls on their side. These bullies, walk around this school like they own it. the girl from earlier, Kurt, flash through my mind and I hesitate. What was I doing, this was just a stupid game, me winning wasn't going to help them and it sure as hell wasn't going to help me.

"I'm done" I state dropping the ball before turning to walk away. I'm not even halfway across the court before a ball nails me in the side. Suddenly the boys are cheering, the coach is yelling about detentions. Besides the boys, none of the other students are celebrating and I can feel their eyes on me but I just keep walking towards the locker room. the last thing I see before entering the locker room is the blonde's blank face. Showering and change quickly I get out of the room as the first few girls are entering.

 **AN: It will take awhile but my whole story won't be angst.**


	3. Chapter 3

Another Day

By twistedly_disturbed

 **Summary:** What would you do if you lost everything in just one moment. Demons haunting you every moment. This is a story of what I did and how eventually I don't fear another day.

Will have a lot of cannon part but is AU.

 **Disclaimer:** I own nothing, and am making no profit. The makers of glee just gave me these lovely characters and now I wanna mess with them

 **Santana's Pov**

It was lunch time and once again I wasn't hungry, I needed some space. Putting my stuff away at my locker, I decided to head to the football field. Walking to the field I'm disappointed to see the cheerleader practicing. There goes my plan to sit on the bleachers and just try to relax. Knowing that the blonde would be there, I just sit under the bleachers, hidden from the world.

"You changed out of your costume." I hear a man say from above, It feels creepy listening to someone else's conversation but I'm not ready to leave my hiding space.

"I'm tired of being laughed at." is the response he gets and I feel for this girl, I'm tired of many things too.

" You're the best kid in there, Rachel. That comes with a price" what I guess to be a teacher tries to comfort. I guess he was trying to be helpful but to me, it would be more helpful if he actually tried to stop the insane amount of bullying in this school.

"Look, I know I'm just a sophomore, but I can feel the clock ticking away, and I don't want to leave high school with nothing to show for it," Rachel responds and I'm slightly stunned that someone with years in front of them was stressing so much already. I didn't even bother thinking about the future at all, it was all about surviving one day at a time.

"You get great grades. You're a fantastic singer." He responds and I'm about to force myself out of my hiding spot, not wanting to listen to this horrible pep talk.

"Everybody hates me." I hear as response as I force myself up and out from behind the bleachers. I couldn't help glancing up at the pair and I'm not really shocked to see it was the brunette from earlier. I make a promise to myself that the next time a slushie is heading for someone, I was going to stop them.

The rest of the day, I spent in a daze. I knew people were staring and talking but I couldn't be bothered to pay attention. I couldn't even tell what class I was in or who was in my classes. Walking into the locker room after class, I started to get ready.

"you play football" I hear suddenly from behind me, I don't even bother to turn around.

"Yeah" was my simple response as I grab my helmet and close my locker.

I hear a huff and then I'm being turned around to face, you guessed it blondie. I swear my life was the butt of some powerful person's joke.

She's silent now, just looking at me then flicking her eyes away.

"You shouldn't have done that, you know" She finally states, seeming to come back to herself. I'm almost amused as she straightens her back and turns to face be confidently, but I'm more confused than anything.

"Do what?" I question heading for the exit that leads outside. I can tell she's annoyed by my actions but I had somewhere to be and she was distracting.

"In the gym, they're football players too, you'll now have to deal with being a girl and them not liking you" Blondie answers heading out of the lockers with me. I had guessed earlier that they were football players, so I just shrugged.

"You don't care?" she almost demands, taking a look over at her, I note the raised eyebrow once again, cute.

"There are a lot of things about me that people in this school won't like, the dislike of a bunch of teenagers could not be farther down my list of things to give a shit about," I say honestly before running off and joining my coach. I was getting glares as the coach explains that I was the new starting wide receiver.

"Hell no, I'm not playing with some girl" one of them shouted, causing more than a few of them to speak up in agreement.

"Quiet" the coach yells over the voices and everyone settles down.

"We haven't won a game all season and with Santana's help we could turn this season around" the coach explains and everyone could tell he wasn't particularly happy.

The rest of practice was a joke, the plays were simple and I swear a google search was, where he found them. My teammates were pissed and it showed by a number of times I was left unguarded and then tackled. That was fine, though, it would take a hell of a lot more than some pain to stop me. The only thing that interrupted practice was, the coach yelling at the quarterback, something about singing. I was starting to feel this school didn't believe in being good at more than one thing.

By the time I reach the locker room, I'm relieved to find it empty and head for a shower. I was pretty bruised especially on my right side but it was a good kind of pain, a pain that was physical, that I could see. It was getting dark as I walked into the house after a fifteen-minute walk.

"Hey, how was school and practice?" I'm greeted immediately by Burt's voice from the living room. placing my bag to the side for now, I head into the livingroom.

"It was fine" I respond taking in the site of the man with his feet up, beer in hand, with a game on the t.v. Burt just looks at me, I feel like he was judging my answer. I guess he decided to let it go as he started on about Kurt cooking since he couldn't and that clean up would be my job if I was eating at home that night. The thought of eating had my stomach in knots already but I can't remember the last time I had eaten more than a few bites so I forced myself to follow Burt to the table. I was impressed when I found spaghetti and all the trimmings, It seemed Kurt had some serious skill in the kitchen.

"This looks awesome, kid," Burt says reaching for food as Kurt joined us at the table. Taking my first look at Kurt since the second period, I could tell the boy was nervous and by the looks, I was getting I knew it was about me.

"It's really good" I offer after I take a bite of food, he relaxed at my words and I knew I wouldn't be sharing about the bullying I had discovered with Burt for now.

"Thanks" he mumbled before silence descended as we all ate. The silence was disconcerting for me, I was used to dinners filled with talking and jokes. I could tell the two cared for each other greatly but even in the short time I've known them, I could see the disconnect, like they didn't know how to relate to each other. Plus with the secrets I knew Kurt was keeping, there was no way for them to really bond. It was sad, both of them seemed like really decent people, that loved each other greatly.

"So what's this singing thing, I've been hearing about all day," I say eventually not being able to help myself from breaking up the stifling silence. I had finished half my food and couldn't force myself to eat anymore and I needed something to do till I could clean up and escape to my room. Burt looks at me in confusion, while Kurt just looked like his hand was caught in a cookie jar.

"They have changed the glee club up, I joined" Kurt offers up awkwardly and I mentally shake my head at myself. out of everything I could bring up, it had to be something Kurt was insecure about. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Burt looked uncomfortable and I knew that Burt was aware that his son was gay, he wouldn't have looked so uncomfortable if he didn't. He looked like he was trying, though, so that was something.

"That's awesome Kurt takes balls to go against the crowd. you guys any good?" I say quickly before Kurt can really study his father's face.

"We were really bad but Finn the school quarterback joined and we sound pretty good now" Kurt explains becoming more excited, I keep an eye on Burt and I see him relax and smile. "you'll have to tell me when you guys are performing, I wanna see you kick butt" Burt says and I swear Kurt looks like he's going to cry. The smile on his face though makes it obvious how happy he is. Thankfully everyone relaxed and I was able to clean up and head to my room for the night. Walking into my room, I dropped my stuff on the couch and opened the curtains completely allowing the room to be lightened by the night sky and the street lights. With a heavy sigh, I sat on the couch, leaning my head back trying to force my muscles to relax. I feel wound so tight that a soft breeze would be enough to make me break to pieces. After a few minutes of trying and failing to relax, I started on my homework. I was just finishing up when a knock at my door came.

"Come in" I answer leaning back into the couch, my side was stiff as hell.

"Hey," Kurt says as he enters and leans against the wall.

"Hey, What's up?" I ask moving my stuff out of the way so he could sit down. He's silent as he gets comfy on the couch, I could tell he was unsure about whatever he wanted to say so I just waited patiently for him to speak.

"Thank you for not telling my dad about the kids in school" He finally settles on and I'm not really sure what to say. I think people needed to know what was going on at that school and someone needed to do something about it.

"It's not that bad you know, I mean the slushie sting a bit and they let me take my designer jackets off before throwing me in the dumpster" Kurt starts rambling quickly as I don't say anything right away. It doesn't take long before I put together the dumpster and Kurt's change of clothes from earlier.

"Not that bad, are you insane?!. They threw you in the dumpster like trash!" I exclaimed back, I felt bad cause he flinched at the noise and frantically looked at the door.

"Shh, it's fine," he says and I think that was supposed to calm me down but really it just pissed me off more.

"you are not a piece of garbage Kurt" I almost hiss giving into the boy's demands but I making it clear that I wasn't going to stand by and allow it to keep happening.

"Thanks" He mumbles, looking away. I guess he was uncomfortable, from the looks of things, I'd guess, he hasn't had anyone our age be nice to him before.

"You can't tell my dad, he'd be angry, storm into the school. It would just make things worse and he'd want me to fight back. I can't do that Santana, I'm not built for fighting" Kurt rushes to explain and I feel like shouting. This wasn't just bullying, it was harassment and assault and in Kurt's case, it was a damn hate crime. Instead, I get up and start pacing, I needed to think, mumbling to myself in Spanish about stubborn fools and stupid little thugs. Suddenly I turn back to the couch and look at Kurt, he's sitting there looking at me scared, for fuck sakes.

"I won't tell him" I start but I'm interrupted as Kurt shoots off the couch and hugs me. It's awkward and I think he even shocked himself since he almost immediately let's go and backs up.

"I'm not done, Kurt. I won't tell him for now, but we're going to do this my way. We're walking to school together and when there is no practice we'll walk home together. Also if you are having a problem, I want you to tell me. You have to promise" I finally give in, I couldn't really force Kurt to tell his father, it would just push Kurt farther from anyone that would watch his back.

"I don't need a babysitter!" Kurt angerly tells me and really I try not to be amused but the teenager sounded like a little boy throwing a fit.

"I'm not offering to be a babysitter, I'm offering to be your friend and to have your back" I simply respond watching as the anger leaves his face.

"You want to be my friend?" he asks uncertain and I have to force myself not to roll my eyes, Kurt really needed to get some self-confidence.

"Well yeah but before you get any ideas, I'm not watching any of those musicals I heard you talking to your dad about the other day" I joke, grinning in success as Kurt seems to lighten up.

"I have glee in the morning and after school sometimes" He explains and this time I do roll my eyes.

"that's cool, we'll just walk together early or late those days. I'm sure I can find something to do at school" I say with a shrug before moving to clean up my crap so I can try to get some sleep.

"Do you sing?" Kurt asks excitedly and I can't help it I groan out loud, I just knew where this was going.

"I can, but I not joining glee Kurt" I quickly state hoping it was enough to dissuade the boy from asking any more questions. Truthfully I could sing, and I wasn't too modest to say I sang well but I had a lot on my plate already and singing a bunch of songs wasn't going to help me any.

"Oh, come on Santana. It will be fun and you can make some more friends. Mercedes is a girl in glee, she's pretty cool, you'd like her. Artie and Tina are nice, a bit to couplie for me but they seem happy. Oh and Finn joined, he's really nice and he's also on the football team so you wouldn't be the only one. There's Rachel and she's a huge diva and a pain in the ass but you'll still have fun." Kurt rambles on and I'm really only kinda listening. I really had no interest in joining this glee club everyone was obsessed with loving or hating.

"It sounds like more your thing Kurt, I have a lot on my plate already and really I could use the time at school to work on my English. It's not my first language so It's not the easiest for me" I finally say interrupting his selling speech. He looked disappointed but I was relieved when he decided to drop it.

"Ok, I can understand that. Thanks for tonight, I should really head downstairs, I way behind on my moisturizing schedule" he suddenly gasps at the end and runs out of my room. shaking my head at that weird reaction, I got ready for bed.

I was exhausted and sore and I swore if I didn't get some sleep tonight, I was going to scream or hit something and right now I really believed I'd do both. It seemed like I was in luck, though, I'm pretty sure I was out cold before my head hit the pillow.

 **AN:** Finally decided on the pairings :)


	4. Chapter 4

Another Day

By twistedly_disturbed

 **Summary:** What would you do if you lost everything in just one moment. Demons haunting you every moment. This is a story of what I did and how eventually I don't fear another day.

Will have a lot of cannon part but is AU.

 **Disclaimer:** I own nothing, and am making no profit. The makers of glee just gave me these lovely characters and now I wanna mess with them

 **Santana's Pov**

I was in pain, my head was pounding in time with my heartbeats. I couldn't move, I couldn't see. Everything was so loud, I could hear people talking quickly but I couldn't make out what they were saying. Music was playing, why was there music playing, what was going on. I was starting to panic, I needed to move, I needed to open my eyes. My head was pounding harder, I was having trouble breathing. Suddenly I managed to jerk my eyes open, oh god, all I could see was my dad's blank face and so much blood, there was blood everywhere. I scream

Jerking awake, I'm suddenly falling, landing harshly on the hard floor. I'm breathing harsh and quick, each breath feeling as if I was trying to breathe through a straw.

"Santana, you ok?" I hear Burt yell as he rushed into the room. I feel embarrassment like never before and I couldn't get the dream out of my head, I just wanted to curl up on the floor and die.

"I'm fine" I mumble as I calmed my breathing, sat up, and leaned against the bed. I wasn't sure I could stand right now and I didn't want to give Burt even more reason to think I'm a head case.

Burt moved like he was going to say something, but he just sighed and sat beside me. I was uncomfortable, I felt vulnerable and the boxer briefs and tank I was wearing wasn't helping either.

"When I lost my wife, I used to wake up in cold sweats almost every night. I'd jerk awake thinking she was calling for me, that she needed my help" Burt states quietly and suddenly I'm so very thankful. He didn't press me for an answer, didn't try to make me bare my feelings and thoughts for his judgment. Instead, he opened himself up and for once I didn't feel quite so alone. I couldn't say how long we sat there silently, but by the time he stood up the run was once again rising. I didn't necessarily feel better but for those moments, I didn't feel quite so broken or alone.

"Your first therapist appointment is today after school, I know you don't really want to go but I'm not really good at talking about my feelings and stuff, I'm a stereotypical male like that . So I hope you do go and I hope you find some relief from all this. But no matter what, Kurt and I are here if you need us or even just want us" Burt says before leaving the room.

Another day was starting and I just wanted to crawl back into bed, but I had to get up and ready. There was no way I was going to risk running late and not walk with Kurt to school. Twenty minutes later I'm dressed in my black ripped skinny jeans and gray tank with my leather jacket. Sliding my steel toed boots on, I was ready to go. Which is good because Kurt was impatiently waiting for me out front.

"So Mr. Shue, the teacher for glee is taking us to see our competition today after school, you won't have to wait for me after school" Kurt starts as we begin our walk to school. This was a good thing in my opinion since now I didn't have to explain about my appointment after school. Burt had said he was picking me up after to school to take me when I had come down this morning so at least I didn't have to worry about getting lost.

"Cool, just remember that they've had a lot more time to practice so don't let them get in your head" I reply, I knew from experience the worst thing you could do was go into a competition or game believing another team was better. The rest of the walk was spent the same way, Kurt rambling on about glee and me answering when I had something to say.

"Well if it isn't lady face and the angry she/boy" I heard from behind me and I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped.

"You've had all night to think up names and that was the best you came up with" I mock as I turned to face the boys. I recognized most of them from football, I only knew the names of two, though, Puckerman and Finn Hudson.

"You think you can come in here and take over the football team, try to screw with us in gym and there wouldn't be consequences?" Puckerman angrily states moving closer to us.

"Is this really necessary?" Kurt squeaks out in fear, already moving to take his designer jacket off.

"The only way either of us is going in that dumpster is if I'm no longer conscious" I warn calmly. I may be outnumbered but I was not a push over at fighting and even if they did manage to knock me out, that wasn't kid games anymore. They would be in a lot of shit. Most of the guys looked uncertain now, I guess they were used to people just rolling over.

"Come on guys, this isn't worth it, we'd be kicked off the team or most likely expelled," Finn says and the only one not to back down was Puckerman.

"Stop being punks, it's just some girl and freaking hummel" Puckerman angrily shouts at them but they were already walking away. Glaring at me now, I could see the embarrassment all over his face, his boys had left him on his own and other students were now watching the spectacle. I knew what he was going to do before he even did it but I didn't bother dodging as the fist hit my jaw and cut my lip. I was already throwing my own punch before I realized the horrified look on Puckerman's face, I guess his anger got the best of him and he didn't mean to hit me. My punch landed solidly to his left eye and I had a moment of sick pleasure knowing he'd have a black eye by second period. Neither of us moved, him looking stunned and me just watching to see if he'd react violently.

"We have to go before the teachers come" Kurt was suddenly pushing me away from the parking lot and into school. Walking into school, I noticed blondie watching me. She looked amazing once again, I wished to see her in something besides the cheerleading outfit, though. She had this look on her face but I couldn't really decide what it meant and before I had even the time to try to figure it out Kurt had dragged me inside.

"Are you nuts, you could have gotten really hurt" Kurt whisper yells as we walk down the hallway and really what was the point of whisper yelling anyways, everyone in the hallway could hear what he said anyways.

"Relax, I'm fine," I say before hissing quietly to myself as I moved my cut lip. Kurt then rolled his eyes at me, oh the boy was getting sassy with me now. Amusement rolled through me and I would have laughed but I needed to go clean my face and get to class.

"I'll see ya later" I state before heading to the nearest bathroom. Looking in the mirror, I was happy to note that there wasn't too much damage, just some bruising, and a small cut. As I started to clean up, I couldn't help but smile. As messed up as the bullying and shit were, standing up and getting in a punch was actually really fun. I could feel the adrenaline rushing through my system, it was addicting.

"That was quite foolish, you both could have been in so much trouble and you could have been seriously hurt. Plus it was really immature to settle your problems with violence. Don't you know violence solves nothing" It was the brunette from yesterday, she was standing just inside the door hands on her hips, giving me a disapproving stare. I didn't even know this girl and she was standing there lecturing me, which I found even more hilarious because she was this tiny little thing compared to me.

"It looked like it, prevented Kurt and I from going into a dumpster, so I guess it solved that perfectly," I say trying to keep a straight face but between the high from fighting and the hilarity of this conversation, I burst out laughing. It had been so long since I could remember feeling so light.

"You are ridiculous" The diva actually stomps her foot, huffs, and storms out of the bathroom. I could hear the bell ringing but I didn't care, I couldn't stop laughing. Eventually, I calm myself down, I can't help wondering if all these over the top reaction to things was healthy but I don't see any sense in worrying so I just head to class.

Walking into class, my good mood faded slightly as the teacher demanded to know, why I was late and what happened to my face.

"Football accident and I got lost, sorry" I quickly make up before slipping into my seat. I can feel eyes boring into my head, making my neck hair stand on end, but I refused to look around for the guilty party. Knowing my luck it would be blondie and I have to spend the rest of the class trying not to keep looking over at her. Instead, I run my hand through my long hair and decide I need a haircut which distracts me enough that I stop feeling that creepy feeling of being watched.

The class passes fast enough and soon I'm heading out of the room grumbling to myself about myself stupid English homework. I was just getting into the part where the teacher could shove the homework up her ass when I'm interrupted by a giggle.

"Hi I'm Brittany, I don't think a book will fit up a teacher's ass," she says and ok I'm shocked. The girl looked so serious like she was actually debating if it was possible. She looked like a little kid, I felt the strange need to wrap her in bubble wrap and hide her from the world.

"We should head to class, Britt," Blondie says beside me, startling me from my plots to kidnap and hide the girl. Man that voice, was like honey, smooth and full. I was slightly horrified by the reaction of my body to the sound.

"Ok, Quinn," Britt says happily as she bounces over to blondie, or I guess Quinn.

"Nice to meet you Britt" I offer friendly only to receive a huge smile from the blonde and a tiny almost, I'm not even positive I wasn't imagining it one from Quinn.

I was so busy trying to decide if it was a smile that I forgot completely that Puckerman was in this class with Kurt and I until I walked into the room. Deciding to ignore him, I sat beside Kurt, not bothering to glance towards the boys in the back.

"Hey, how was first?" I question not wanting things to be awkward between Kurt and I after this morning.

"It was fine, had most of the glee members come up, they wanted to know what happened this morning. It's all anyone can talk about" Kurt replies and I could tell he was kinda enjoying the attention.

"Well, I hope you told them how awesome, I am" I joke with a chuckle before the teacher came in and started class. This class and Gym passed quietly, I noticed most kids seemed a little jumpy around me and the guys from the football team were avoiding me but I liked it that way.

It was now lunch, so I decided to head to the football field again. I knew no one was practicing today at lunch so it should be quiet around there this time.

"I shouldn't have hit you" Puckerman states randomly sitting beside me on the bleachers.

"I should have hit you again" I responded, I wasn't mad that we got into a fight, I was pissed about how he treated people in this school. I chuckle lightly at his startled face.

"You're badass Lopez" He finally says, before I would have started making jokes about my awesome badass self but now I just shrug in response.

"Look I'm sorry ok, I'll leave you alone from now on" he forces out through clenched teeth and I swear it caused the boy physical pain.

"I don't care about that, you will leave Kurt alone or things will keep going the way they are now" I state calmly but allowed some of my anger to bleed into my voice.

"Fine, whatever" Puckerman reluctantly agree before standing and walking away. Well, that was easier than I thought, but it seemed Puckerman had some morals after all.

Walking into school after lunch, I was greeted with the sight of some guy in a jersey walking with a slushie. Great one thing after another with these people, looking around it was easy to spot his target. There was Rachel standing at her locker, walking over to the girl I waited till he was about to throw it before grabbing the cup from his unsuspecting hands. The hallway got quiet, I guess once again no one knew how to react to my actions. It would almost be funny but really it was just sad. Ignoring everyone else I just dumped the frozen drink over the guys head. I swear the squeal that came out of the boy's mouth could not have been human. Not wanting to deal with people including the still shocked Rachel, I just walked away to get my things for class. No one stopped me, they all just kind of stared.

"Like I said, badass" Puckerman states as he passed me, the first to start moving again.

I really didn't want to sit through another three classes, so I decided to call it a day. Burt would just have to understand. Finding Kurt was easy.

"I've had enough, I'm going to head home," I tell Kurt, trying not to advertise the headache I was now sporting.

"Ok, I'll call my dad and let him know, just hold on while I talk to him" Kurt states coming out of his shock. Ten minutes later, I'm heading out of school, not even having to skip. Burt didn't even question it, just asked if I was ok. It was nice having an adult that wasn't super pushy around.

"I don't know whether you are incredibly stupid or really brave" I hear to my left as I walk out the door. I know immediately who that voice belonged to, Quinn.

"Neither" I respond deciding to stop for a minute instead of walking off on the girl again.

"What exactly are you hoping to accomplish with all this?" she questions and I have to resist the urge to just walk away again. What was so fascinating about me that people keep trying to analyze and question me all the time. The only reason I couldn't force myself to walk away again was because this was Quinn, Quinn with the green eyes that were so frustrating to read, Quinn that intrigued me every time I saw her.

" I just want people to stop being idiotic bullying jerks, I want Kurt to be safe when he comes to school" I honestly reply and even to me it sounds delusional. Kids in high school were cruel, it's just the way it was but I wasn't asking for a miracle or some unrealistic happy school that you see in a movie sometimes. I just didn't want people to get really hurt and this school was so out of control, it was bound to happen.

"So this is about Hummel? Why do you care so much about him?, I mean you're on the football team, even likable sometimes, you could be ruling this school with me" She questions and I one hundred percent believe that she didn't understand why someone would choose not to be popular.

"Not just him, no, but it's a big part. He's my friend and I stick by my friends. I don't mean to be rude but I have a headache from hell, can we continue this another time?" I explain hoping to be able to head home now.

"Come on" Quinn states and I just stare at her confused ,come on where. My stare only seemed to annoy the girl as once again I was huffed at.

"My car, I'll drive you" She explains and I could almost feel the ice flood my veins.

 **AN:** Two chapters in one day, sweet :) I left this one in an interesting spot so I'll try to post the next chapter quickly


	5. Chapter 5

Another Day

By twistedly_disturbed

 **Summary:** What would you do if you lost everything in just one moment. Demons haunting you every moment. This is a story of what I did and how eventually I don't fear another day.

Will have a lot of cannon part but is AU.

 **Disclaimer:** I own nothing, and am making no profit. The makers of glee just gave me these lovely characters and now I wanna mess with them

 **Santana's Pov**

It's not that I was scared to get into cars, it's more like I didn't feel comfortable being in a car being driven by someone my age or like me, ever. I know it's irrational or no I don't. It's perfectly rational, people die in cars and I didn't want to be around when it happened.

"N-no that's ok, you have class" I say, cringing slightly at my stutter. Great now, I sound like a bigger weirdo. I'm looking at anything but the girl in front of me, I already knew this girl could be cruel and I didn't really feel like dealing with that part of her.

"It's fine, I have a spare this period" Quinn answers and I want to feel relieved since she didn't seem to catch my stutter but all I could think of is getting into that car. My parents cold blank faces flashed over in my head, then they transformed into Quinn's face. Those beautiful green eyes staring blankly at me. I couldn't do this, I needed to leave.

"I'm sorry" I quickly say before I take off running. I don't look back, I don't slow down, I just keep running till I'm safely in my room. The panic is still there, the pictures in my head haunting me, the tears are filling my eyes. God I'm so pathetic, I made a fool of myself, why couldn't I just have a normal day. The tears are spilling out as fast as I can angrily wipe them away, I don't have the energy to keep standing, and moving another step seemed impossible. My legs felt like they were going to give up so I just stop fighting, my knees hit the floor hard but I barely even noticed, my tears were coming so fast I could no longer see. I was so sorry for everything, I couldn't breathe but I couldn't stop. Sobs I desperately tried to hold in, ripped violently out of me, what was I supposed do. Everything hurt so much, I tried to hide it, I tried to ignore it. Nothing was working and now I was pathetically kneeling on my hands and knees, trying to breathe, to stop my tears and I couldn't. It was all so much.

I have no idea how long I stayed like that, it didn't really even matter anymore. Eventually my sobs and tears slowed, I shift my aching body so I was leaning against the wall, I had no energy left to raise to my feet. Tears were still coming but they were slowing, I could see again but everything was just blurry. I didn't bother wiping them away, what was the point more would just replace them. My headache from before was worse than ever, my body felt like lead.

"Santana, are you ok?" I'm startled awake, I guess after earlier I passed out. I was still leaning in against the wall, I tried to move but I just ended up groaning as my stiff muscles protested the movement. I felt like shit, and I knew I must look the part. What with the split lip, bruised chin and I could only image what all the stupid crying has done to my appearance.

"Santana" I hear again, shit I forgot what had woken me up. Looking up I found a very concerned Burt staring down at me.

"I'm up" I mumble as I force myself to stand, I feel the world start swaying as I reach my feet. I guess I was even more out of it than I thought. I feel hands quickly grasp my arm, I wait a moment for the world to stop moving before moving to sit on my bed.

"What happened?" Burt asks and for a hysterical moment, I can feel the tears and sobs rise up again. But I ruthlessly shove the feeling away, it was bad enough I had some kind of fit earlier, I wasn't going to have one now and with an audience.

"I got into a disagreement with someone, we made up and there was apologies" I explain before looking up at the man. I knew I could have lied but I had agreed to tell the truth in this house, which I mean sure, I haven't been the most forthcoming but that was different from straight up lying to Burt.

"I didn't get a call from your school" Burt finally replies and I could tell he was disappointed in my actions. I wanted to explain it was like I went out looking for a fight, I was looking out for Kurt and I but I had promised Kurt that I wouldn't say anything.

"We regretted the fight as soon as it started, we stopped it before any of the teachers found out. I lied to them after when they asked me what happened." I mumble, after the last few days, I really didn't want to keep answering questions but I knew that it was unreasonable to expect Burt to just let it go. It's silent now and I can feel Burt's eyes on me, but I just keep my gaze to the floor. I didn't regret the fight, but I did regret making Burt upset after everything he's done for me. Especially after this morning.

"Do you wanna talk about what happened to cause me to find you on the floor asleep" Burt asks his tone uncomfortable but determined. Thankful once again that I was latino, my embarrassed blush was hidden, I just shake my head in answer.

"Ok, well I'm here to take you to your appointment, why don't you clean up a bit and met me in the car" Burt suggested before reaching out and squeezing my shoulder in what I guess was support. Sighing I got up and headed to the bathroom.

I was hesitant to get into the car especially after this afternoon but I just kept reminding myself that Burt was an adult and had most likely driving longer that I've been alive. The Drive was mostly quiet, only interrupted by Burt explaining how to get there from school. The one nice thing about moving to a small town was that everything was pretty close together so It would only be about I ten minute walk from school.

"I'll be back to pick you up later, remind me later to take you to get a phone" Burt says as he pulls up to a small corner building, almost adding the last part as an afterthought.

"Ok" was my simple response, I was worn out and talking took almost more energy I had left to give. Walking into the building I hesitate, I didn't really know what to expect and If I was honest with myself, I was kind of anxious. I'm not even really sure I was going to enter but I didn't really want anyone to see me entering the building or standing out front staring at the door as I currently was doing. Straightening my back, I forced myself to confidently enter the building. Entering into what was the waiting room, I walked up to the desk. It was a on the small side but the room was decorated in a simple pleasant way I assume was to try to put people at ease.

"Santana Lopez, I have an appointment" I say with more confidence than I was feeling, I had already made an ass out of myself enough today and if it was the last thing I did, I was going to keep it together while I was here.

"Ahh there you are Ms Lopez, I just need you to fill out some forms and questions before you see Mrs Lehane" the woman behind the desk says friendly enough after finding me in her system. She hands me a clipboard with the forms and a pen. Moving to a chair, I'm happy that the place seems empty for now, I start filling out the forms. At first the forms are like a normal doctors forms, name, birthday, and so on, but then I got to the questions. Do you have problems sleeping?, do you self harm?, can you hear things no one else seems to hear?, There was a good hundred of these types of questions. I have the urge to answer these questions as immature as possible, turning the whole thing into a joke. It's not that I was judging or mocking people with mental illnesses, I reasoned to myself. It was more, I couldn't believe I was here, having to answer these questions, having a need to answer these questions. I've had a lot of expectations of what my life would be or how it would go but this, no this wasn't part of the plan. I wasn't sure why exactly but I found myself quickly answering the questions honestly, about fifteen minutes after I had returned the forms back to the woman behind the deck I was lead from the room.

Walking into the room I was lead to, I found it almost looked like a sitting room, you'd find in an upscale kind of house. The only difference was a desk to the side and a wall of books behind it.

Sitting at the desk reading what looked to be the forms I answered earlier was a woman. She had her long black curly hair pulled into a bun and from what I could see she was dressed professionally but comfortable.

"Hello Santana, please take a seat" The woman said motioning to the couch as she moved to sit in a chair facing the couch. As I sat I couldn't help think of all those ridiculous movies that had people laying down talking their therapists, It would be a cold day in hell before I did that.

"Well let's start off with me, My name is Kate Lehane and you can of course call me Kate" She starts off as I try to not fidget to much. I didn't know what to do with my hand, or what I was supposed to do at all. I am so outside my comfort zone, it was taking all I had to not run out the door. I can feel her watching me and I just want to snap what at her, but I don't because it's hardly her fault that it seems like people have been staring at me ever since the that day just over a month ago.

"The time in here, is your time, you can talk about whatever you wish, I won't be forcing you to talk about things you don't want to. I might ask questions about the things you bring up or I might question other things but it is always your choice to answer" Kate tells me and I relax slightly, I had this picture of coming in here and being badgered into spilling my heart out to some stranger.

I however still didn't really know what to talk about so I just nodded at the woman, causing her to smile at me.

"How are you liking your new school?" she questions and I'm amused when I realized almost any topic she could have picked would be uncomfortable for me to speak about. It was wasn't a ha ha kind of amused but more a ironic pessimistic amusement.

"It's school" I settle on with a shrug, what was I supposed to say. The school was an unsafe sess pool of ignorant assholes and repressed confused individuals. Well I guess technically I did say that, that's what high school is.

"Fair enough, have you made any friends?" and that's how the hour went, the doc asking small pointless questions and me answering with pointless but secretly amusing responses. I did end up telling her a bit about becoming Kurt's friend and about Burt but I didn't feel like going into anything in detail. The hour passed quickly and I found myself getting into Burt's car, with an appointment for next week.

"How'd it go?" Burt questions as we drive home.

"It was ok" I respond knowing he wasn't prying, just offering to listen if I needed to. Normally I'd find it weird that I understood someone so easily but Burt was just one of those people, what you see is what you get. It was also made easier as he kind of reminded me of well me about this kind of stuff.

"Walking into the house we were greeted by the smell of dinner wafting through the house.

"Smells good Kurt" Burt offers as we enter the kitchen. Kurt was just putting the food on the table so we all grabbed a seat. Dinner was more lively tonight as Burt and Kurt chatted, but I was pretty sure something was bugging Kurt. Thinking back to when I saw him before heading home today, I knew he was fine then, and he was supposed to be with his glee club after school so he should have been safe. I guess I'd have to get it out of him the next time we were alone.

Cleaning up took little time, so I decided I'd work on my homework, since Kurt was so kind as to bring it home for me. Notice sarcasm.

"Wanna come do your homework with me?" I offer as I pass the two guys sitting in the livingroom.

"Sounds good, I'll be up in a few" Was my response as I continued upstairs. I kinda felt bad using this as an excuse to get him alone so I could make sure no one had fucked with him, but I reason with myself that I wouldn't mind just hanging out with him doing homework either.

Setting up my stuff on half the table so Kurt could use the other half, I got started.

"Hey," Kurt greets as he starts pulling his stuff out of his bag.

"Hola" I respond with a smile. I really was happy to have Kurt as a friend, maybe it didn't start of normally but he was sweet and amusing in his innocence. I was looking forward to getting to know him better.

"So, how was the rest of school," I ask after a couple minutes of silent work.

"It was good, Mercedes and I spent most of the time talking about performing, oh we are thinking about going to see a musical soon too" Kurt excitedly tells me and I guess I was reading too much into things at dinner. He sounded happy about making another friend.

"Sweet, you can get your diva on" I joke, nudging him playfully to make sure he didn't take me serious. It seemed to have worked as he laughed.

"Plus, the slushie thing at lunch, priceless, people were talking about it all day" Kurt tells me with another laugh, I could admit after the fact, it was kind of amusing.

I'm sure, mostly Rachel's face was my favorite. Girl didn't know whether to yell at me or hug me" I add with a chuckle. I was too stressed out earlier but thinking back now, I knew driving Rachel nuts would be a favorite pass time from now on. I didn't want to bully the girl but the girl was wound way too tight and it was fun harmlessly frustrating her.

"You're telling me, Today before we went to see vocal adrenaline proform. She wouldn't stop ranting, one minute it's about you and fighting, or you and using her as an excuse to slushie someone, the next she was going on and on about Finn's girlfriend Quinn Fabray trying get him to quit glee. It was like a cycle, couldn't decide what offended her more" Kurt starts in amusement before ending in slight the painful pull at learning about Quinn and Finn, I decide to focus on the rest of what Kurt said. I could tell Kurt didn't really like Rachel but I think they had more in common than they thought.

"I'd give the girl a break Kurt, she's intense sure but she seems lonely, maybe some of that is her just over compensating" I offer with a shrug, I didn't really care that they didn't get along but I knew what it was like to feel alone even surrounded by people. Kurt leans back not even pretending to be doing homework as he gives me a weird look.

"How do you even know that, I've never seen you talking to her" He asks giving me a suspicious look. Not bothering to analyze his look I start laughing as I remember the bathroom meeting from this morning.

"She followed me into the bathroom this morning, tried to give me a lecture about fighting" I finally respond with a chuckle. I know it wasn't that funny but she was just this tiny thing telling me off even if I could squish her.

"Sounds like her" Kurt responds with amusement.

"How did the performance thing go anyways," I asked curiously, I may not plan on joining but the whole thing was kind of interesting. I watched Kurt as his face fell and I kinda felt bad, we were having a drama free conversation and I brought up something that was obviously a sore spot for Kurt.

"They were really good, like amazing good" Kurt sighs out. I wasn't really sure how to respond, I had been doing really good lately with talking about shit but I wasn't really sure about how to help.

"What does glee need to catch up?" I question instead, I was more of a problem solver than a talker. Noticing Kurt thinking about his answer, I go back to work, he would answer when he was ready.

"We need more people, Finn needs to not quit and to practice a lot more" he finally says focusing back on me. I'm silent at first, I really didn't have any pull at school, so helping them find more people I couldn't really do. But I did have some ideas that could help.

"Do you know Mike Change and Brittany Pierce, from football and the cheerios?" I ask

"Yeah, I know of them" Kurt answers completely lost.

" I met Brittany earlier, it's obvious the girl is a dancer and Mike was dancing around at practice the other day. I've noticed that no one in the school seems to mess with Brittany and Mike seems to really enjoy dancing. I'd see about asking them to join, it could take some of the pressure off Finn for being the only football guy and Brittany joining might make a few of the other popular kids be brave enough to join" I suggest

"But we don't know if they can sing" Kurt says but I can tell he was starting to like the idea.

"Even if they can't who cares, Glee's about performing right, so at worse you have two amazing dancers" I explain my point more and it was almost like a light switch, Kurt's face lights up in excitement.

"You're a genius San, I have to go call Mercedes" Kurt excitedly says grabbing his stuff and literally running out of the room. I could say one thing about Kurt, the dude has a lot of freaking energy. Shaking my head in amusement, I worked on finishing my homework.

After the day I had, I was kinda scared to go to sleep. At least during the day, I was kind of, able to push things away for a time, but when I was asleep, it was an almost constant stream of flashbacks and subconscious torture. It was late and I had football before school tomorrow, I know that I should already be in bed. Deciding to just suck it up, I get ready for bed and climb in.

When I was little I used to crawl into bed and my dad would alway ask what did I wish for tomorrow. I had stopped doing that years ago but sometimes, especially lately I made a wish. I wished with everything I had left I could feel my desire for it almost strangling me in its intensity, I'd wake up tomorrow and everything would be the way it was before. But tonight it was a bit different, I wished that my parents were here, that I was still in this school, that I still had Burt and Kurt. That I wouldn't be the person that killed her parents, that I would have a chance with the gorgeous secretly sweet, Quinn Fabray. Those were my last thoughts as my body finally succumbs to exhaustion

 **AN:** Thanks for reading, and to those of you that have reviewed. Always makes me write faster :)


	6. Chapter 6

Another Day

By twistedly_disturbed

 **Summary:** What would you do if you lost everything in just one moment. Demons haunting you every moment. This is a story of what I did and how eventually I don't fear another day.

Will have a lot of cannon part but is AU.

 **Disclaimer:** I own nothing, and am making no profit. The makers of glee just gave me these lovely characters and now I wanna mess with them

 **Santana's Pov**

Waking up to my alarm clock was almost more shocking than yesterday when I had fallen off the bed. It had been so long since I had slept through the night that it took a moment to wake my confused mind. Reaching over to turn the annoying noise off, I rise from my bed stretching my rested muscles. After yesterday I had expected another rough night but instead I woke up feeling really good. I know it won't last and I really know I didn't deserve it but I was weak, I was going to make the most of it before the world came back in. Getting ready didn't take long and before I really knew it I was walking onto the football field ready to kick some ass.

"Hey" Puckerman greets as I reach the field causing most of the other players to look on confused. I was confused to, I knew we had called a cess fire but that didn't mean I was to be friends with the guy.

"Puckerman" I greet back, I wasn't looking for any drama today. I was hoping that the students would leave the slushies at the store today, all I needed to worry about was avoiding a certain Quinn Fabray. Just then the coach and Finn reached the field and I swear I was missing something Finn was giving Puckerman and about four other guys glares. The rest of the practice turned into a waste of time. I no longer had to worry about the guys trying to sucker tackle me instead Puckerman and Finn decided to engage in a piss match. Practice went so bad, the coach spent most of the time yelling before letting us go early. We now had a lunch practice and I had a feeling this wasn't going to end well for the glee club. Walking into the locker room, I quickly showered and got changed. I was kinda thankful that practice had sucked, I had managed to get out of the locker room before cheerio practice ended. Remembering that challenging look in Quinn's eyes from the first time we had locked eyes, I knew I had inadvertently given the girl that challenge yesterday.

"You acted very immaturely yesterday, it is always best to rise above such petty actions. I have watched several TeD talks online, I could show you" I'm suddenly bombarded with as the whirlwind known as Rachel Berry suddenly appears beside my locker. Ignoring her for the moment I continue to grab my school books. Finishing I look over at the tiny diva, she was kind of cute standing there glaring at me with her hands once again on her hips.

"You're welcome" I tease with a chuckle and grin, my response was only a huff. I couldn't help teasing the girl her reactions just amused me to no end.

"I was not thanking you" she sputters making me chuckle more.

"I'm Santana, nice to meet you" I suddenly throw out there. I think I managed to shock the girl as she loses the glare and just stares dumbly at me. Looks like I found a way to get out of more lectures, just then the warning bell goes.

"Well I'm off to class, talk to you later" I say not even bothering to try to hide my amusement as I walk away. I'm still chuckling at the frustrated huff I heard as I walked away as I sat in my first class. I absently notice Quinn was not in class yet, perfect hopefully she wouldn't get here till right before the next bell. My good mood fell slightly as just before the bell rang Finn and Quinn appeared in the doorway. My stomach flipped slightly at the sight of them and when they kissed goodbye I jerked my gaze away from them. I had no right to feel anything about Quinn's relationship but it seemed I had a large problem listening to that logic. But it didn't matter class had started and I needed to start paying attention. All that should matter was that I had avoided any questions from the girl and that I wasn't going to return the gaze I could feel from her direction.

The bell rings and I pull a Kurt, I rush out the room before anyone else.

"San, wait up" I hear from behind and it was Brittany. Damn it, I couldn't just ignore the innocent girl. Turning to face the grinning blonde and yup there she was a victoriously grinning Quinn.

"I'm joining Glee, I'm so excited" Brittany happily tells me causing Quinn's grin to turn into a scowl.

"That's great Britt, Maybe you can get Quinn to join with you" I excitedly state and I kinda felt bad using the blonde to get under Quinn's skin or I would have if Britt didn't look downright playful as she turned to the other blonde. The glare I got at my suggestion was almost frightening but I've always been a shit head and I had no attention in stopping now. Turning and heading to the next class I can't help the grin spreading across my face. I had distracted Quinn from yesterday and I almost felt normal for once. I could feel the guilt, the pain just below the surface but for as long as I could I was going to ignore it.

"Hey Kurt" I greet as I take my seat in my next class, all I get is a unhappy grunt in return. Studying the boy beside me, I swear it looked like he was pouting.

"What's wrong?" I question and I wasn't prepared for the rush of words quickly coming at me

"Last night after the performance, Puck and some guys attacked Finn with paintball guns. So now Finn is quitting, Mr. Shue is leaving the school and glee is doomed"

Well shit what the hell was I going do now I wanted to help Kurt but really this wasn't in my control.

"You don't know that for sure I was just talking to Brittany, and she was very excited about glee" I try to comfort but really if glee was so important to them than they would fight for it. I don't get a response and really I didn't expect one.

The rest of my morning classes and practice passes uneventfully, it seemed the boys on the team were no longer disagreeing since Finn quit glee. I was just heading to the lockers when I noticed Finn, Puckerman and bunch a guys by the portable toilets. I decided to stay out of view but watch, I didn't want to spy on them but I wasn't going to walk away only to learn later that Kurt or someone else got hurt.

"What's going on?" I hear Finn question.

"We got that wheelchair kid Artie inside. We're going to flip it." Puck answers and I'm moving quickly towards them. There was no way in hell I was going to let that happen

"Isn't that kind of dangerous?" Finn replies as I hide behind the portable toilet, maybe I wouldn't have to get involved.

"He's already in a wheelchair. Come on, dude, we saved you the first roll." Puck reasons and really does this guy ever learn. I knew he wasn't really this cruel but for some reason he keeps acting like an ass. I watch as Finn just shakes his head, opens the portable toilet and pulls Artie out.

"Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. Oh my God, the smell." Artie begins thanking Finn. "What the hell, dude? I can't believe you're helping out this loser" Puck angrily demands.

"Don't you get it, man? We're all losers,everyone in this school is. Hell, everyone in this town. Out of all the kids who graduate, maybe half will go to college, and two will leave the state to do it. I'm not afraid of being called a loser cause I can accept that that's what I am. But I am afraid of turning my back on something that actually made me happy for the first time in my sorry life" Finn says and despite my desire to hate the guy because he was dating the girl that wouldn't leave my mind. I had to admit he really did try to be a decent guy.

"So what? Are you quitting to join Homo Explosion?" Puck mocks, I really should have punched him again.

" No. I'm doing both. 'Cause you can't win without me and neither can they" Finn finishes moving to walk away.

"Wait, I'm joining to" Mike suddenly says and I notice him approach. I guess I wasn't the only one keeping an eye on things. Not bothering to stick around anymore I head back inside, I know that the two guys would stop the rest from trying anything else with Artie.

My last few classes dragged on but it amused me to notice that Rachel was is one and apparently she was ignoring me after this morning. I guess the one day I went to my afternoon classes, I was really out of it since I didn't notice before.

"I have glee tonight, are you going to wait around?" Kurt asks me as I was getting ready to leave at my locker.

"Yeah, just meet me in the library when you guys are done" I'm happy Kurt seems to have gotten over his earlier mood. I didn't know if he knew about Mike joining as well but if he didn't I looked forward to his reaction on another member.

I had been in the library for a bit before I couldn't resist the urge to go check out the glee club anymore. Heading to the entrance for one of the balconies in the auditorium, I quietly sneak in.

They were about halfway through singing Don't stop believing, they sounded really good and Mike and Brittany were dancing and even singing but I was slightly disturbed about the way Rachel and Finn were acting towards each other. I didn't really know anything about performing so I was just hoping it was part of the act, it didn't look good though. As the song comes to an end, I realize I wasn't the only one secretly watching. Mr Shue was down by the seats watching, Puckerman was watching from the doors and it seemed the crazy cheer coach and Quinn were watching from the rafters. My eyes are drawn to Quinn's face, it looked like I wasn't the only one to notice Rachel's and Finn's actions. Her face was a hard mask but those eyes, god those eyes looked so sad. She must have noticed my stare as her head turns and meets my gaze. It was instantaneous, her eyes became blocks of stone and I ached at the sight. I didn't know who had taught this girl the need to hide so well, but I hated them in that moment. Quinn quickly looks away and I just turn away and head back to the library.

"Hey, you ready to go" Kurt says about twenty minutes later as I was glaring at my English homework trying to make it disappear.

"Hell yeah" I answer quickly putting my books in my bag. Turning towards Kurt, I'm kinda surprised to see him standing beside a girl I didn't recognize.

"Santana, Mercedes, Mercedes, Santana" Kurt introduces and I take a moment to appraise the unknown girl.

"Girl, I saw the whole slushie thing yesterday. It was wicked" Mercedes comments with a wide grin. I have a moment of uncomfortableness, I didn't do those things to get known by people, I just couldn't stand to see people treated like that.

"Someone had to do something" I say trying to shrug it off. Mercedes looked like she was going to continue but thankfully Kurt interrupted.

"Mercedes is coming home with us, we're having a movie night" Kurt looked really happy so I just shrugged and followed them out of the school. The walk home was filled with mostly with Kurt and Mercedes talking about glee and what movies they wanted to watch.

"You want to join us? It will be fun" Mercedes offers as we walk into the house. It was tempting but I really just wanted to get out of the house, between the school, here and the doctors I really hadn't explored Lima.

"Naw I got plans but thanks" I respond with a smile. Mercedes seemed nice enough and Kurt was acting like he had found a sister from another mother so I didn't want her to think I was just brushing her off.

"Ohh what are you going to do?" Kurt asks

"I feel like exploring for a while" I answered with a shrug as I headed upstairs to grab a sweater, it was starting to get a bit chilly in the evenings.

"Here take my cell, Dad said he was going to bring one home for you tonight" Kurt offers handing me his phone. It was weird living with someone my age as I had been an only child but I have to admit it was kind of nice.

Walking out the door I just picked a random direction. I spent a few hours just walking around, my ipod on loud just enjoying the peace. I kept finding myself thinking about Quinn, in the last few months I had been become an expert at recognizing when something was wrong with people. I believe it's because I can see the same things in them that I myself try to hide about myself.

I have always been someone that tries to help other people but never before had the urge been so strong. I didn't know what it was about the blonde that has me so wrapped up in her, we haven't even had a real conversation. I wanted to avoid her, I wanted to stop thinking about her but I'm practical enough to know I wouldn't stick with that. By the time I walk into the house I have decided that I couldn't stay away but I wouldn't pursue anything but friendship.

"Hey, you hungry?" Burt asks as I walk into the livingroom. I'm about to answer when laughter sounds from the basement.

"I'm good, sounds like Kurt's having fun" I say with a chuckle sitting beside kurt, checking out the football game on tv.

"Yeah, it's really nice to see him bring home friends" Burt says taking with a smile.

We're quiet for awhile just watching the game.

"Living in this town hasn't been easy on kurt" Burt finally offers as a commercial starts on screen. Understatement of a century I think to myself, this town was slowly killing everything unique about most of the teengers here.

"He seems to be doing ok now" I settle on, not really sure where this conversation was going.

"Yeah glee clubs seems to really be good for him but mostly I think having you here has also really helped him. I don't know the details and I don't want them, Kurt will tell me when he's ready. But I just wanted to thank you for whatever it is that you did to make my kid sound as happy as he is" Burt says not looking away from the tv. I'm thankful for this, the conversation was kind of awkward in a deep and I don't want to talk about this way.

"I got his back" I reply.

The rest of the night passed quickly, it was a good game and it was cool to hang out with Burt for awhile.

 **AN: Thanks for reading and a big thanks to everyone that reviewed. I hope the grammar is better on this chapter, it's always been a weakness of mine. :) Anyways hope you guys enjoyed this chapter**


	7. Chapter 7

Another Day

By twistedly_disturbed

 **Summary:** What would you do if you lost everything in just one moment. Demons haunting you every moment. This is a story of what I did and how eventually I don't fear another day.

Will have a lot of cannon part but is AU.

 **Disclaimer:** I own nothing, and am making no profit. The makers of glee just gave me these lovely characters and now I wanna mess with them

 **Quinn's Pov**

"Q. get in here" Coach Sue is yelling as Brittany and I are passing her office, shit I knew I should have taken the other hallway.

"Coach" I greet as I enter and close the door behind me.

"After yesterday's gross performance of the cabbage patch kids and the defection of Brittany and that asian kid. I have decided you will also be joining, I need eyes and ears in that club and you will be the person to do it" coach explains to me with an evil smile.

I don't even bother to respond, arguing would just cause Sue to come up with some cruel and unusual punishment for questioning her. Besides I had already been tempted to join to keep an eye on Finn and that boyfriend stealing dwarf.

But first I was going to find that avoiding me, never gives a straight answer Santana Lopez. She was in my head and wouldn't leave, The only thing I could think of to explain it was because I had all these questions and she wouldn't stick in one place long enough to answer any of them!. Walking to her locker I was in luck, there she was.

"Are you going to run away from me again if I try to talk to you?" I asked as I leaned on the lockers beside hers.

"I'm thinking about it" She responds with a charming grin. Wait no it wasn't charming, it was frustrating. I couldn't help noticing she also looked really tired and I've noticed that before as well. Another thing about her I felt this ridiculous need to know about.

"Are you going to tell me why you ran away from me the other day when I was offering you a ride?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow as the girl stiffens. I didn't want to admit it, I mean I barely knew her but it kind of hurt when she ran from me.

"Look I'm sorry ok, I just have issues with getting into cars that are driven by people my age. Heck I have issues with getting in most cars period" was my response as she looked anywhere but me.

"Are you implying I can't drive?" I challenge back, I know I should just drop it, I can see it's making her uncomfortable but I couldn't seem to make myself as I was finally getting some answers.

"I was in a car accident ok, can we please talk about something else?" Santana finally answers and I swear she was literally looking for a place to run away to. Damn I didn't expect that answer and now I had even more questions. I would leave it alone for now though I could see she was about to bolt.

"So you and Hummel, how'd you guys become friends?" I question thinking this would be a safe way to restart the conversation instead I get a frustrated groan.

"Last question, after you have to answer one of mine" she offers closing her locker and turning towards me fully. Jeez does everything about her have to be so damn mysterious, I swear she was doing it on purpose.

"Ok deal" I decide only hesitating slightly. I wanted answers but opening myself up to questions has always made me uncomfortable.

"I'm not really hiding how I know Kurt, I'm actually surprised you don't know what with the gossip that goes on around here. I live with Kurt and his father Burt, they're my foster family" Wow she was in the system, I can see why she had made me agree not to ask any more questions. I had so many, what happened to her family, was it related to the car accident, how long has she been in foster care. Every answer I got from her added so many more questions. Part of me didn't understand why I cared so much, but I wasn't going to question myself about it. I think I'm almost scared of what the answer might be.

"My turn" Santana says moving to walk to class and I move to walk with her. Great this should be fun, not.

"Would you have lunch with me?" She asks and I can't believe it, the girl had a free pass to ask me whatever she wanted and she went with that. Especially since she's been avoiding me since the other day. I don't answer right away taking a moment to study the other girl. Dare I say it she looked a little nervous, it was kind of cute. Hold up why the hell was I thinking things like charming and cute when it came to this girl, I have a boyfriend and most of all she was a girl!.

"Never mind, it's cool, just thought I'd ask" She starts rambling a little and I guess I had been lost in my head to long.

"Wait" I start reaching out to stop her before she could enter the class we somehow had already reached. Trying to completely ignore the softness and strength of the arm I was now touching.

"I'm going to talk to Mr. Shue at lunch about joining glee club, but it shouldn't take all lunch, meet me outside the glee room?" I'm saying before I know it, I wanted to spend more time with Santana but it also scared me a little. Even with Finn, I never had the urge to spend much time with him. Truthfully I found the people of this town to mind numbingly boring and predictable but Santana kept me guessing never know what she was going to do next. That didn't even take into account the weird reactions I kept having when she would do things like now. Standing there grinning in what I'm positive is a self satisfied way.

"I'll be there, try not to die of boredom in this stupid English class" she ends with a scowl before walking into class. Well what do you know there is something the pain in the ass latina wasn't good at and ironically it was my favorite class.

Before I knew it I was walking out of the glee room after auditioning to stupid glee. Don't get me wrong I liked to sing and dance but I have been making life difficult for most people in that club for years, I wasn't looking forward to their reactions.

"Hola senorita" I'm greeted startling me enough to make me jump a little. I didn't know how to react my stomach flipped at hearing the spanish from santana, which I was not ok with and to top it off she was now laughing at me. Sure it was kind of funny but I was Quinn Fabray no one dared to laugh at me. Santana was never doing what was expected of her, so I settled on a glare in response.

"Hey, I come in peace, I even brought you a present but I won't give it to you if you don't forgive me for scaring you" now that she mentions it, she was standing there holding something behind her back with that infuriating, not at all charming grin on her face. I could feel my eyebrow rise up in surprise, knowing Santana, she could be holding almost anything behind her back. Despite myself I wanted to know what it was, would this girl ever stop throwing me off with the most random of crap.

"Fine, but only because you come bearing gifts" I state trying to peek around her body to see.

"Well see, I knew you wouldn't really have a lot of time to get food and eat so I found Brittany earlier and asked her what you normally had for lunch" She explains showing me the chicken salad she was holding. Out of all the things I could have guessed bring me lunch was not even on the list, it was one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for me. Looking up at Santana as I gently take the offered salad, I'm almost positive she was blushing. It was hard to tell with her skin tone but it was there.

"Thanks" I say softly trying to ignore the sudden butterflies in my stomach, and the answering blush I could feel creeping across my cheeks. What was this girl doing to me.

"Why don't we go eat in the glee room, it's empty" I suggest already turning to enter the room. I needed a moment to collect myself before I started thinking crazy things like Santana being hot with a blush creeping up her neck or how much I really enjoyed being the one to cause it.

"You're not going to eat?" I ask as we got comfortable and I started eating.

"Naw, I don't normally eat lunch" she offers with a shrug.

"So you bought me lunch and you're just going to sit there and watch me eat. Doesn't that defeat the purpose of having lunch together?" I tease the girl, raising my eyebrow in challenge.

"Nope, can't blame me for wanting to spend lunch with a hot girl" I choke a little, did she just say that. Was she flirting with me, and why were those stupid butterflies in my stomach back. Then she's laughing again, giving me a happy grin. Bitch was teasing me, I wanted to be angry as an embarrassed flush covers my face but I couldn't seem to get there.

"You are a jerk, everyone thinks you're this goody two shoes nice guy but I'm onto you" I state pointing my fork at her.

"Shh don't tell anyone, it's more fun this way" She jokes as she leans back in her chair. She really did look tired today, even more than normal. Moving closer to her I hold what was left of my lunch between us.

"Share the rest of my lunch with me, it's not healthy to be skipping meals" I state offering her the fork. I couldn't really help with her being so tired but she really needed to eat something, hopefully it would give her the energy to finish out the day. When she looked like she was going to protest I give her my best HBIC look and for once she does as she supposed to and grabs the fork. Ok well kind of she did roll her eyes at me but with Santana, I think I'll take it as a win. The rest of lunch was spent joking around, Santana was telling me stories about her old school. My favorite was when her team decided to fill her locker with dirt, which at first didn't sound all that funny but in revenge she super glued all their cleats to their feet. Apparently that was the last prank they pulled on her as some of them had to beg their teammates to tell them how to get them off.

"This was fun, next time you'll have to tell me some of the story about your team. I'm sure with that crazy coach you'll have some good ones" Santana says as we get up to leave. She's right I do have some good stories to tell and I really did enjoy lunch but I couldn't help teasing her.

"What makes you think, there will be a next time?" I smile at the end making sure she knew I was just teasing. I don't know why I cared so much that she didn't get the wrong idea.

"Cause I'm awesome and hot chicks love me" She responds with a laugh and a wink, leaving before I had a chance to respond. That girl will be the death of me, I grumble to myself as I headed off for afternoon classes.

"Hey babe" Finn greets me at the end of the day, it was the first time I had seen him all day. Normally that wouldn't bother me but I just knew it had something to do with Rachel treasure trails Berry. I didn't want a fight though and I was kind of feeling guilty about the Santana thing, even though I keep telling myself there was nothing to feel guilty about. So when he leaned down to kiss me, I tried to push those thoughts away and kiss him deeply.

"Whoa, what was that for?" he questions with a dopey look as I pull away. I've never really enjoyed kissing anyone but for some reason that kiss bored me more than normal.

"I haven't seen you all day, I missed you" I reply simply watching as a guilty look came over him and left just as quickly.

"Sorry babe, I was working on trying to expand my vocal range" He explains causing me to narrow my eyes in suspicion.

"Let's go to glee, wouldn't want to be late on my first day" I respond with fake enthusiasm, taking pleasure in his paling face. If he wanted to cheat on me, I wasn't going to let him do it easily. It kinda made me feel like a hypocrite since that mistaken night with Puck but that was a drunken mistake, he was having this disturbing mating dance with man hands and that was different.

"You joined glee?" He squeaks out, I guess those vocal lesson were put to good use as it was several octaves higher than his normal voice I think will ironic amusement. We are silent as we walk towards the glee room, I walk by Santana as she's talking to Hummel and I can't help catching her eye before I enter the room. I wonder if Santana can sing, maybe I could convince her to join I wouldn't be so bored then.

"Q" Britt yells excitedly as she rushes to hug me. Out of everyone in this town Britt has always been my favorite person, she kept things amusing and despite what most people think she was really smart about some things.

"Oh hell to the no" I hear as I escape out of Britt's excited hug. Everyone besides Britt, Finn and Mike was giving me dirty looks.

"Enough Mercedes, Quinn auditioned this afternoon and I think it would really help this club to have her apart of it" Mr. Shue states as he comes out of his office. What followed was the equivalent of a bunch of five year olds having a hissy fit. But in the end they seemed to have accepted that I wasn't going anywhere. I know that I deserved the comments and reactions but no one liked being somewhere they weren't wanted but I knew coach would flip if I didn't stay in the club.

"Now I was thinking this afternoon and I decided that for our next song it would be good to give Finn and Quinn the solo's" Mr. Shue states causing Rachel to jump from her seat.

"You're giving Quinn Fabray my solo?" She demands. What is with people using my full name or talking about as if I wasn't even here. I know I've bullied Berry the worst but really it was hard not to, she was alway forcing her talent down everyone's throat and now she was trying to steal my boyfriend even though we both know she knows we are together.

"If we're gonna succeed, you're not always gonna be the star. But I promise to do my best to make sure you're always having fun. This is a good thing, Rachel. We're on our way. All of you will have your time in the limelight, it's just Quinn's turn now" Mr. Shue explains.

They don't look happy but besides the diva's over dramatic huff as she sat down that only grumbled to themselves.

""Ok let's get started" Mr. Shue's says with a excited clap. This was going to be a long practice I'm thinking as we all raised from our seats.

I was right, most of practice was spent arguing or trying to dodge Finn's horrible dancing. I don't know what the coach was so worried about there was no way glee club was going to place at sectionals let alone regionals.

"Hey Kurt, how was practice" Santana's voice rings out as we were all packing our stuff up to leave. The reaction to her presence was even more amusing than my own. Britt rushed over to give her a hug, wasn't really surprising since Britt had taken an immediate liking to the girl. Mike gave her an awkward high five as he was leaving, it was only awkward as Brit hadn't let go yet. The best reaction though was Rachel.

"Santana, do you have to make a commotion everywhere you go?" and then she huffs, I know I'm not the only one giving her a disbelieving look. Really this coming from the girl that lives on making a scene.

"Oh Rachie, I only do it because I know you love it" Santana responds giving her an amused grin.

"Rachie!, That is not my name Santana Lopez" She angrily demands before storming out of the room in true diva fashion. Everyone else was sharing a laugh but I didn't feel amused, since when did they know each other so well, I didn't like the feeling in my stomach. I ruthlessly push those feelings aside, it was kind of amusing and that was the only thing I was willing to think on.

"Jerk" I tease as I walk by making sure to only say it loud enough for Santana to hear. All I get is that same pain in the ass grin before she leaves bring the glaring Kurt Hummel with her.

"What did you say to her?, I didn't know you guys were friends" Finn says as he catches up to me.

"Nothing important" I reply with a shrug, heading to my car. I wasn't trying to hide that I knew Santana, but for some reason I really did not want to talk to Finn about her.

"Want to come over to my place, my mom won't be home for a while" Finn offers giving me what I have learned is him trying to be sexy look. Kinda looked like he was constipated in my opinion but I wasn't going to tell him that.

"Can't, Mom wants me to go shopping with her" I state making up an excuse. I didn't really have anything to do, Dad was on a business trip and mom was at the spa for the next couple days. However going home to my empty house heck doing almost anything sounded better than going to Finn's.

"Ok have fun, Text me later" Finn easily believes before kissing my cheek and leaving.

The drive home was quick and before I knew it I was standing in my empty home trying to decide what to do. I've had this debate with myself so many times I've lost track, I count the amount of times over the last year that I came home to an empty house. I'm pretty sure both my parents were having affairs and have no interest in being around for me. The only time I really saw them was when they needed to go out in public to show everyone else what a perfect family we were. What a crock of shit.

It was hours later when I had finished my homework, ate dinner and cleaned up that I ran out of things to do. I couldn't help it as my mind turned to Santana, I didn't want to I had spent way too much time thinking about her since she showed up on monday. Today had been the first time we had really interacted and despite my belief that I would stop thinking about her as much if she answered some of my questions I find myself thinking of her more. But it was also in a different way than I was before, sure I still wanted to know more about her especially since the answers I got led to so many more questions but what wouldn't leave me alone was our lunch together. She was really sweet and funny, I mean I know that something is haunting her anyone with eyes could tell but for that bit of time she looked a little more carefree. I drifted off to sleep with that thought.

 **AN: Well things are going to be progressing a lot more now. I'm really excited about this chapter and what I have planned for the next ones.**

 **On a side note, has anyone ever looked up crock of shit. I've used the saying before but I got curious of the exact meaning. The definition was the funniest shit ever, literally. I'm still laughing about it :D**

 **Thanks for reading, A big thank you to those that reviewed**


	8. Chapter 8

Another Day

By twistedly_disturbed

 **Summary:** What would you do if you lost everything in just one moment. Demons haunting you every moment. This is a story of what I did and how eventually I don't fear another day.

Will have a lot of cannon part but is AU.

 **Disclaimer:** I own nothing, and am making no profit. The makers of glee just gave me these lovely characters and now I wanna mess with them

 **Santana's Pov**

The first thing that registers is cold, I could feel it sliding down my shirt leaving a path of ice and stickiness in its wake. I blame the last two nights of no sleep for me not seeing the smug asshole before he threw a slushie in my face. In the words of one Mercedes Jones, Hell to the no.

"That will teach you to mess with the chain in this school, football's out, hockey all the way" the guy cheered as he walked away. The only thing that prevented me from jumping that fucker was that we were in the middle of school but that was fine I always do my best work when I'm not reacting in anger. Looking around I could see the other kids not really knowing how to react, it only angered me more. These jerks only got away with this shit because no one else was willing to stand up and say no more. I needed a shower, why couldn't he have picked anything besides cherry. It was disgusting.

"Come on, let's get you cleaned up" I hear as Quinn comes out of nowhere. My eyes were stinging and I couldn't have agreed more. I feel her gently grab my arm leading me to the locker room, the tingling I got from her touch distracted me till we got there. Moving to the sink I try to wash my eyes out, I needed to stop the stinging before I tried to clean anything else.

"Let me help," Quinn quietly says turning me around to face her. She was standing really close, one step and I'd be flush against the beautiful girl. My heart was beating so fast I was scared she could hear it. If she did she made no comment on it as she started wiping my eyes and face with some wet paper towels.

"Better?" she questions meeting my eyes for the first time today.

"Thank you" I whisper back distractedly. I could feel the heat of her body seeping it my chilled one, I needed to step back, she needed to move, one of us did. Like she was reading my mind Quinn eventually took several steps away and I couldn't help the pang of disappointment at her actions even though I knew it was for the best. Watching Quinn as she threw away the paper towels I couldn't help noticing that she looked sad today, Even with her mask up it was obvious.

"What's wrong?" I blurt out before I could stop myself, it was fine though friends worried about each other all the time.

"Nothing" was the response I got, she didn't even hesitate. Sighing I silently move to my locker to grab my shower kit.

"I've never really paid attention to someone getting slushied before, It must really suck to be a nerd" I knew what she was doing, trying to change the subject, talking in that callous tone. She was trying to get a rise out of me, trying to push me away.

"I guess that means you should stop your teammates and friends from slushing people then" I reply careful to keep my tone friendly. I didn't want to fight with her but I know sometimes getting pissed off help's relieve some of the stress. That said I wasn't going to get mean with her.

"Whoever said I wanted to stop them" Quinn demanded. She was standing there with fire in her eyes and all it did was make me worry more. Whatever was going on it had the girl reacting to me with a lot of misplaced anger.

"You're a nice person Quinn, maybe you should show it to more than just a couple people" I was always for letting off steam but this didn't just seem like simple teenage stuff anymore.

"I am not a nice person" she almost hisses out at me. I'm kind of stunned by all this anger.

"You're nice to me and Brittany, I've seen you with her, you guys are like sisters" I respond, I can't believe this is how our conversation was going. After yesterday's lunch, I was really hoping we had started to become friends.

"Bullshit, you don't know me" Quinn yells before moving to leave.

"You're right and I don't think anyone really does" I quickly say before she can leave. She freezes one hand on the door.

"I want to though and I'm here if you decide you want that too," I say when she makes no move to respond to my last statement. I get no response as she just walks out of the room. Great, just fucking great.

By the time I showered and changed it was lunch time. I was wearing my football jersey since my shirt had been destroyed by the slushie attack. Not wanting to deal with people, I quickly exit and head to my hiding spot behind the bleachers. I was exhausted after not sleeping and the earlier confrontation.

"This is my hiding spot. Go find another" was my greeting as I walk around the bleachers.

Great it was Puckerman, just what I needed to make this day complete, he was standing there throwing rocks at the bleachers. Or more like whipping them at the bleachers, the noise was louder with every ting of rock hitting metal.

"I don't know anywhere else to hide" I mumble moving away from the firing zone and laying down. I didn't have the energy to even make myself hold a sitting position right now.

"Is this about that whole slushie thing, cause if I knew you were such a baby I would never have called you badass" He angrily mocks before surprising me as he sits beside me. Great, first I get to deal with angry Quinn, and now I get to deal with an angry Puckerman.

"Please, I'll deal with that dumbass soon enough" I reply but truthfully I haven't even attempted to figure out how yet.

"What has your panties in a bunch?" I question only to immediately regret it. I didn't even really care, it was just a reflex.

"You wouldn't understand" was my response but at least he didn't sound angry anymore.

"Life sucks, I understand that better than most people" understatement of the century, I know that other people had it bad not just me but right at this moment I couldn't find any more empathy to give.

"You don't want to start that competition with me" And great now he was angry again, why was it every time I opened my mouth today someone was getting pissed off. I was getting angry now, I had it with people jumping down my throat. He thought his life was so tough, let's see what pathetic problems he had to throw around.

"Bring it on, Puckerman" I sit up and face him. I know this was immature but I didn't care right now. He was glaring at me but he was still hesitating, that wouldn't do.

"How about I'm moved to a different state, lost all my friends only to find out my new school is full of mostly sheep and jerks" I start giving him my best I'm better than you look.

"You and that fucking glee club has fucked everything up. I had a good thing going here, people moved out of my way as I walked by, I had my pick of girls and my best friend wasn't ditching me to dance and sing like a fairy" Puckerman replies glaring at me as if he hoped I'd burst into flames.

If this was the best he had I was going to be disappointed. In this moment I wanted someone to get my pain, I wanted someone to fucking know what it was to wish to be dead.

"Please cry me a river, not only am I stuck in this stupid town and school, I am in a home that isn't mine. Thats right I'm in the system, you get to go home to your mommy while I'm forced to go to the Hummel's and while I like them it's not the same" I feel the anger starting to leave, this was a bad idea. I didn't want to share what else was wrong with my life.

"Yeah well at least you didn't get your best friends girl pregnant only to be told to get lost because you're a useless loser" He suddenly yells before his face pales in fear. Holy shit, that I wasn't expecting. Wait, Finn was Puckerman's best friend that means….. Quinn. Dread was filling my stomach, I could feel my saliva pooling in the back of my throat. I feel like I'm going to be sick.

"Shit you can't say anything, Lopez do you hear me. She doesn't want him to know, she doesn't want anyone to know." Puckerman's quickly saying.

My head was a mess, I didn't even know how to react at this moment. I needed a moment to think.

"Calm down, just give me a moment" I snap at the still rapidly speaking boy. I needed to take my feelings out of this, despite my feelings for the blonde I had no right to be upset by this news. Quinn wasn't mine, but she was my friend I needed to do something to help. Looking over at Puckerman, I could see he was still panicking but was now doing it silently.

"First things first, I'm not going to say anything and neither are you" I state watching as he seemed to calm before immediately getting angry again.

"That is my kid, I'm not going to be a deadbeat father" He angrily whispers. Good, at least he wasn't being loud.

I never said you will be" I say trying to calm the conversation down. I kind of felt bad for the guy and I realize I want to help him and not just because I don't want him to treat Quinn wrong. I could still feel my own feelings just below the surface but I would deal with them when I was alone and didn't have to feel so guilty about being upset.

"But you just said" He trails off confused.

"Do you really think the truth won't come out eventually. As it was pointed out to me today I don't really know Quinn but I think she's just trying to deal right now" I explain more, ignoring the weird look I got as I said my knowing Quinn comment

"I guess" Puckerman finally agrees reluctantly.

"Besides you have way more important things to worry about," I say keeping my voice friendly even though I have the urge to smack him in the back of the head. This was about way more than just saying the kid was his.

"I know but I don't know where to start" he kind of looked like a lost little kid and he was going to have his own soon enough, it was all so messed up.

"Is she keeping it?" I ask but I could already guess the answer.

"She's not getting an abortion, at least that's what Finn said" Puckerman explains quietly with slumped shoulders.

"You'll need to get a job, one that hopefully pays decent" I suggest even though it was obvious. With everything going on it wouldn't surprise me if his mind was moving too fast to even settle on a single idea.

"Where am I supposed to find something like that. This is Lima, the only jobs that aren't complete crap are full-time ones and even those aren't easy to come by" Puck states frustratedly. I had an idea but I was hesitating to bring it up, the only reason I was even considering it was because of Quinn.

"Look I have access to some money coming up next week, I don't want to get into how so don't bother asking but until you manage to get a job I can help cover the cost of Quinns medical stuff and maybe some maternity clothes" I start to explain, not really wanting to get into how my 16th birthday was next week which meant I would start getting a large allowance from my parents trust or if that wasn't enough I could get access to all of it by getting emancipated.

"Wait, Wait why would you do that it makes no sense, we're not friends and after everything you sure as hell don't owe me anything" Puck demands looking at me in disbelief. He was right, it didn't really make a lot of sense but I had to do something, anything to make my heart stop clenching in pain. There was something about Quinn that had me spellbound and it terrified me knowing how much I am willing to do for the blonde, anything to make that girl's life easier I would do. My problem was how was I going to explain why to Puckerman without spilling my completely inappropriate feelings for Quinn.

"Does it matter?, I only ask two things in return. Quinn will never know the money isn't from you and every dime I give you must go to Quinn and the baby" I brush off his question before ending with a glare,I didn't trust this guy at all. I could only watch shocked as he held his head in his hands and started to cry.

"God, what have I done. I've destroyed any chance for Quinn, or me from getting out of this town, my best friend is going to hate me and to top it all off I'm sitting here with no choice but to take money from someone I've bullied and barely know" Puckerman cries out quietly. I couldn't believe how guilty I felt about me wanting him to be in this kind of pain earlier. Our situations are completely different but sitting here watching this macho guy break down, it was like a kick to the gut. I don't say anything to him but I stay where I am, I can't count a number of times I wished someone had been there to just be there when things became too much. I don't know how long we sat there, bells came and went, I could feel my new phone vibrating in my pocket but I made no move to answer it.

"Time for you to grow up Puck, it sucks and it's not fair and it can really hurt but I don't doubt that you can do it" I offer and I really do mean that. Puck and I were alike, the only thing that stopped me from being him was my parents and how I was taught. He doesn't respond at first then it was almost instant, his shoulders squared before he moved to his feet turning to face me with only fire in his eyes. There was the badass stubborn guy I could never stand before.

"Lopez, no Santana, I have no idea how I'm going to thank you for this but I will" There is only confidence and strength in his voice. I know it wouldn't last but I also felt it deep down that he would keep finding that strength again.

"If she needs something come find me" was my only response, he didn't know it but he was already doing something for me. He was going to look after Quinn when I couldn't. With a nod, he walked away.

It was starting to get chilly and my jersey was doing nothing to really block the wind that was picking up but the soul aching exhaustion I was feeling allowed me to ignore it as inconsequential.

Laying back down I close my eyes trying desperately to convince myself that I hadn't stupidly developed strong feelings for someone I haven't even known for very long, especially since she was apparently the most unavailable girl I have ever met. I hated every silent tear that slid down my cheeks each one proving how pathetic I was, crying over a girl that was never mine and never would be. Eventually, my tears became about more than my own selfishness, they turned into tears for the sweet, scared girl that would be learning the hard way to say goodbye to her childhood. Laying under the bleachers that evening I didn't even try to fight as my body and mind gave away to exhaustion.

 **AN:** this one took a bit longer, real life distracted me. I hope you guys liked it.

Thanks for reading and especially for those who review.


	9. Chapter 9

Another Day

By twistedly_disturbed

 **Summary:** What would you do if you lost everything in just one moment. Demons haunting you every moment. This is a story of what I did and how eventually I don't fear another day.

Will have a lot of cannon part but is AU.

 **Disclaimer:** I own nothing, and am making no profit. The makers of glee just gave me these lovely characters and now I wanna mess with them

 **Santana's Pov**

It's been a week since that day behind the bleachers, yesterday was my sixteenth birthday. It had come and gone with little fan fair. I was thankful that the Hummels agreed to not tell anyone or make a big deal of it. To me it was no longer a day to celebrate, I spent most of it hidden in my room trying not to think of my parents.

The last week had brought some good and bad changes into my life. I'm not really sure what happened and I really didn't care but that hockey player that slushied me apologized. I only note it because of the looks at Puck he was sending the whole the time. I hope it wasn't just because he felt he owed me something and it was really more about trying to become a better guy. I was leaning more towards the second option after finding out he had apologized to most of the so-called unpopular kids for his previous actions. The biggest change was despite the stares I'd catch Quinn giving me, I was now being avoided. I couldn't really blame her with everything going on but that didn't mean it didn't suck. Rumors were all over the school about Quinn's pregnancy but so far no one had gotten any proof but her randomly running into the nearest bathroom, multiple times a day was pretty telling. Kurt and the rest of the glee club knew about the baby but were still under the impression it was Finn's I didn't want to lie to Kurt so I just refused to talk about it at all. It's earned me some weird looks from Kurt but he's so far held off on asking about it.

Today was finally the first football game since I had started at this school and for the first time in a while, I was excited to play. After I had woken under the bleachers and escaped from a concerned but kind of angry Burt lecture, I did some real thinking. Before everything that has happened recently I was a person that liked to be very self-aware it gave me a sense of control over myself that I felt lacking in other aspects of my life. Since the car accident I have been ten steps behind, reacting to everything without thinking about why I was reacting that way and if it was really the best course of action. I sat there on my couch for hours going through my feelings about being in a new place, the anger and fighting I have been engaging in at school, the Hummel's and about Quinn and her baby. Everything was shrouded in the guilt of killing my parents, it was obvious to me that all of my actions were my own but that it was all making me hyper sensitive. Whether it was good or bad I was feeling it more than was healthy. I decided then to try to slow my role, take a step back and try to focus on finding some kind of balance. It wasn't an over the night kind of thing but starting to open up a little to my shrink and focusing on school and football seems to be kind of helping.

Running onto the field with my team, we were greeted by fans cheering.

"Looks like more people have shown up, guess they want to see our new superstar" Puck jokes as we gathered around the coach. I could hear the slight jealousy in his voice but at least he was no longer being openly hostile anymore about it. I could feel the pressure settling down on me but I mostly shrug it off, I was here to play football not to cater to other people's expectations. My dad had repeated that to me before every game and I wasn't going to forget that just because he wasn't here anymore to remind me. As the coach was starting his pep talk I found my eyes glancing over to the cheerleaders and settled on the form of Quinn. I hated not being able to talk to her but the silence between us was allowing me to accept my feelings but let go of the delusion that there was something more between us than what was really happening.

The game was tied and I was feeling frustrated. There were some good players on my team but they were having trouble holding back the defensive line. Finn, however, was almost useless, he spent more time on his ass than throwing the ball. We're managing to hold on by the skin of our teeth but I wanted to win and to do that I needed Finn to throw the damn ball.

"We need to hold off the line so Finn can throw the ball, I have an idea" I state as we met in a huddle, quickly explaining my plan to my now smiling teammates. Lining up for our last play I could feel the adrenaline coursing through my veins, it was time to do this.

Hearing the snap of the ball, I don't hesitate running forward using my slimmer and faster form to dodge the incoming tackles. Running a hook formation I turn and just as I hoped we had finally managed to get a decent throw off. The Ball was whistling as I jumped using my body and arms to catch the ball. The crowd was yelling pushing me faster as I ran towards the end zone, one of the guys from the other team lunges at me, I jump using my free hand to push the guy down by his helmet and I land in the end zone. I did it, we did it. I stand up excitedly scanning the stands for my sure to be cheering parents. Oh yeah.. I remember as I don't see them, I slunch into myself but before I can do much more my celebrating team is gathering around me. It wasn't ok but this is what I had and I wasn't going to ruin the win for myself.

Family and friends were rushing down to congratulate the team, random people, I've never talked to patting me on the back as they passed. Looking around I looked eyes with the stunning green of Quinn Fabray, she was even smiling. I start heading over towards her but then Finn's there gathering her in his arms. Sighing at my own patheticness I move to head back to the locker room.

"San" I hear from behind me, it was Kurt and standing behind him was Burt, and almost all the non-football playing glee kids.

"That was awesome kid," Burt says pulling me into a surprised hug, I thought it would be awkward but as all these people, people that I didn't even know were my friends congratulated me I couldn't help the warm smile from spreading across my lips.

"I'm going to go get changed, I'll met you at the car" I offer once it was just Burt, Kurt and I. Getting an agreeing nod I head inside. The locker room was full of mostly cheerleaders but It didn't take long to shower and change. The adrenaline was wearing off but for once I didn't mind so much, I wasn't jumping around happy but I was feeling pretty ok right at this moment.

"You were amazing out there tonight" I'm told as I was slipping into my shoes. I would recognize that voice from anywhere. Sure enough, I looked up to be greeted my Quinn's beautiful but nervous eyes. I wanted to reassure her that I wasn't going to hold the last week against her but just bringing it straight up might make her run again.

"It was a good game but we so earning that win" I reply with a friendly smile. Maybe it would be best to act like nothing had happened.

"You going to Puck's party?" Quinn asks seeming to relax at my friendly tone.

"Nope, he invited me but I'm not really one for drinking my weight in booze and then having to drag my sorry as into school the next morning" I state moving to head out of the locker room.

"Yeah, I learned my lesson about too much booze the last time I drank" she jokes joining me as we walk out. I can only guess what happened with that but I wasn't going to ask, she'd tell me if she wanted to. We fell into a silence, it was awkward knowing about her pregnancy, that Puck was the father and her not knowing I knew but I couldn't think of a way to bring it up that wouldn't have the girl running away from me again.

"I better get going, Burt and Kurt have decided we need to go out to eat and celebrate. But I'll talk to you Monday?" I end with a question, I wanted to know where we stood with each other and I figure this was the easiest way to know without adding any pressure on Quinn.

"I'd like that" Quinn answer with a small smile, brushing her hand against mine as she walked away. Ignoring the shiver her actions caused I headed over to Burt's car.

The weekend passed quickly, Saturday night Mercedes came over for a sleepover with Kurt which they convinced me to join. It was a night full of laughter and way too much girl talk for me but I found myself enjoying just hanging out in spite of that. Sunday I spent at Burt's shop, he offered to teach me some stuff but I only agreed after he swore I wouldn't have to drive anything. I could tell he was slightly concerned about my refusal to learn to drive but he let it go easy enough.

"Hurry up, I have glee and you promised Mercedes and me you'd sit in and think about joining" Kurt yells up the stairs Monday morning. I don't know what I was thinking when I agreed to that, it would be awkward just sitting there watching the club do it's thing, oh wait I knew exactly what I was thinking, more time with Quinn.

"I'm ready jeez" I tease as I walk passed Kurt and out the door.

"Well if you didn't refuse to go in my new car we'd have more time" He grumps good naturally. I have been working with my shrink to calm myself before having what she called a panic attack about getting into cars with people my age. Right now we were on the step where I try to calm myself when someone even mentions it. So I was quite pleased with myself when I kept my breathing mostly calm.

"Need to keep in shape, walking to school helps" I offer with a shrug. I knew he didn't believe my excuse but all he did was raise an eyebrow and change the subject.

"Mercedes messaged me before we left, she was there early and already cleared you sitting in on glee with Mr. Shue."

"I don't know why you guys want me to join so bad, I don't even think you've ever heard me sing" I mention cause really since they brought it up the first time I had been wondering.

"Please, every time you shower It's all we can hear. I know Mercedes really wants to sing with you after she heard you this weekend" Kurt explains looking far too smug. Oh, I didn't know they could hear me in the basement, I didn't think I was that loud.

"Alright, Alright, I said I'd think about it" I agree with a chuckle deciding it must have been the venting system that allowed them to hear.

"Great come on" Kurt exclaims as he grabbed my arm and pulled me the rest of the way to the glee room.

"You know I'm perfectly capable of walking on my own" I grumble stealing my arm back, this boy was way too excited for a Monday morning.

"Santana, have you decided to join? I didn't know you could sing. I myself have been in vocal training since I was old enough to talk. I could help you if you wanted, it's always best to try to improve one's self" Rachel immediately starts talking making multiple people groan. I guess we were the last ones to arrive.

"Settle down, Santana is just here to observe today, hopefully, we can help her decide to join. I've been told she has quite the voice" Mr. Shue interrupts the diva and I'm thankful till he finishes and the glee kids turn to look at me. Walking over to a seat, I try to resist the urge to try to hide from the looks. Looking out of the corner of my eye to the right I see Quinn looking at me with interest.

Glee club was kind of fun, Artie ended up rapping a song and the whole club was up and dancing around , plus the banter around the room kept me amused. Maybe joining glee club wouldn't be so bad, as I'm thinking this my mind flashes back to Quinn dancing and laughing.

"So did you enjoy it," Quinn asks sitting beside me, ignoring the looks we were now getting from the glee club.

"It was amusing" I answer with a chuckle.

"You should join, I wanna hear this voice I've heard about" I know she was just being friendly but I swear she just said that in a flirty tone. I could feel myself blushing slightly only to blush more at the teasing grin Quinn's now giving me.

"Maybe" I mumble but I know I would join, I just needed time to come up with a song to audition with.

"You'll join, as you've said before can't blame you for wanting to spend time with my hot self" Quinn quietly say before flashing me a smug grin and heading out of the room. What the hell, that girl just used my own words against me and flustered me enough that I didn't even respond. Oh, it was on, I would get her next time.

"Rachel" I greet heading towards her after the lunch bell rang. She kind of looked shocked to see me but I decided to just ignore it.

"Hello, Santana, did you need something?" was my response and I suddenly felt bad, I had come over here to ask for some help picking a song but the girl's complete belief that someone would only volunteer to talk to her if they wanted something had me changing my plans slightly. It's a good thing I knew Burt wouldn't mind.

"I was wondering if you wanted to come over tonight, maybe sleep over. I could use your help picking a song to try out for glee but the offer to come over still stands if you don't want to help" I ask but instead of an answer I just get a suspicious look.

"You want to have a sleepover with me?" She finally asks making me uncomfortable, I just wanted to be nice, maybe make a new friend but this emotional stuff was just weird for me.

"Of course Rachie, we're friends didn't you know," I say playfully making sure to call her Rachie as I knew she couldn't stand it, helped make me feel better about the friends part of the comment.

"My name is not Rachie" She demand but I could see the amusement and happiness in her eyes. Seems like no one's really giving the girl a chance, I could tell there was more than just that diva personality hiding behind admittedly ugly animal sweaters. Grabbing a piece of paper and a pen from Rachel's open locker, I scribbled my number and address.

"Call me after school if you can and we'll figure out what time for you to come over" I state to the shocked girl before turning on my heel and walking away.

"Bleachers" Puck is suddenly whispering in my ear as he walks towards the doors of the school. Spotting Quinn across the way looking at me in confusion I decided to head to the bleacher through the locker room exit. I wasn't hiding that I talk to Puck but if this was about money I didn't want Quinn even suspecting a little that the money came from me.

"So I've been looking for work but I'm not really having much luck" Was Puck's greeting as I walked behind the bleachers. I didn't really know if I believed him, I had been thinking since our talk and I didn't want him using my money to shrink out of his own responsibilities. I'd still give him the money but first I wanted to make sure he was actually really trying to get work and not this pool cleaning business I've heard about.

"You should try Burt's shop, it's getting to be winter so he's really busy right now" I suggest before I would never have but since he's been trying to get along with Kurt I didn't think it was a horrible idea.

"Really, that's great. I'll head over there right after school" Puck says and he almost looked excited. Since it seemed that Puck was going to take the suggestion I made a mental note to warn Kurt and maybe ease him into the idea.

"So what's up?" I ask wanting to finish this conversation before lunch ended, I didn't need another late or missing class. Burt had been understanding so far but I didn't want to abuse his trust.

"Finn was bitching earlier, apparently Quinn had a doctor's appointment last week and needs money to cover it before her parents find out, plus he mentioned something about victims or something. I kinda stopped listening" Puck explains running his hand through his hair aggressively.

I was kind of shocked that Quinn was still pretending the kid was Finn's, It was wrong in my opinion but I wasn't going to judge. It's not like there was a book out there to tell her what to do in this situation. Reaching into my back pocket I pull out a sealed envelope, I had been carrying it around since I pulled money out on my birthday. It felt weird holding my parent's money and even weirder thinking about how I was going to use it. The estate was massive though and my parents caring so I really didn't think they would have a problem with this.

"There's five hundred here, it's sealed because despite me knowing you're trying I don't trust you yet. When we go back to the school, I'll be watching to make sure the first thing you do is give this to Quinn" I explain offering the envelope to Puck.

"F-Five hundred, That's way too much" Puck exclaims actually stepping away from the envelope instead of taking it. I can't help but roll my eyes, he had no idea how expensive this was going to get.

"You need to do some research on cost Puckerman, this is just the beginning and you need to find out if Quinn has access to insurance and if she doesn't try to convince her to get some. Even if you need to cover the cost" I state switching back to his full last name in irritation, did he honestly think to have a baby was cheap?

"Thank you" He finally says grabbing the still offered envelope. He was looking like a lost little kid again but I didn't have any words of encouragement. They needed help from an adult.

"Remember not a word to Quinn about this and remember the first thing you do is find her alone and give her the money" I simply state heading to back to the school. That was a lot of money for someone like Puck and I was really unsure what he'd do but I need to try to trust him.

Heading to my locker I was happy to notice Quinn was at hers not too far away. A few minutes later Puck is standing beside her.

"I heard you're worried about money" Puck quietly states and it's weird standing here listening to them, made me feel like a creepy stalker.

"How do you know that I told you to stay out of this" Quin angrily states looking around quickly. Thank god she didn't seem to notice me listening.

"Look I don't want to fight with you, I don't agree with what you are doing but I'm staying out of it. I just wanted to give you this" Puck quickly explains slipping the envelope into her locker, I was relieved to notice it was still sealed. Good now I could stop being a stalker and head to my afternoon classes.

"I called my daddy at lunch, he said he or dad could drop my stuff off at your place if I wanted to just head to your place after school," Rachel says choosing to grab a seat beside me in our last class of the day. I think she was waiting for me to say it was all just a trick since she seemed extremely fascinated by the table in front of us.

"Sounds good, Kurt's hanging out with Mercedes tonight so it will just be us till later" I offer with a shrug, before returning the smile Rachel was now giving me.

"Oh that's right, I forgot Kurt mentioning that you lived with them. Do you enjoy it?" Rachel asks and we spend the rest of the time before the teacher starts the lesson getting to know each other.

As I was laying down on my couch at the end of the night, I was happy with how this sleepover was going. Kurt was a little grumpy that I never warned him about Rachel coming over but when I told him I was going to join glee the next day he completely forgave me. Which really meant that I know had to overly excitable diva's helping me get ready for my audition. By the end of the night though I was ready and I was pretty sure Rachel had enjoyed herself. Now all I needed was a peaceful night so Rachel didn't get any free glimpses into how fucked up I really am.

 **AN:** Next chapter will be another Quinn Pov. I'm really excited for it.

Thank you for those that read and review. I love reviews! lol.


	10. Chapter 10

Another Day

By twistedly_disturbed

 **Summary:** What would you do if you lost everything in just one moment. Demons haunting you every moment. This is a story of what I did and how eventually I don't fear another day.

Will have a lot of cannon part but is AU.

 **Disclaimer:** I own nothing, and am making no profit. The makers of glee just gave me these lovely characters and now I wanna mess with them

 **Quinn's Pov**

Things are all so fucked up, I have no idea what I'm doing anymore. A drunken mistake that's all it was supposed to be, I don't even remember any of it. But here I am a month and a half pregnant with Noah Puckerman's baby. I have no idea how this became my life, I've never even been attracted to Puck. I wish there was someone I could talk to but I know as soon as my parents find out they will freak. Thank god Puckerman found a way to help me pay for the doctors and stuff, although I still wasn't sure the money was obtained legally. Even then despite having all this to worry about I still find myself thinking about Santana. That week while I was avoiding her had been almost impossible, every day I'd find myself starting to head towards her before coming to my senses and stopping myself. It was after the football game that I finally gave in, I've admitted to myself that I might have a slight girl crush on her. But that was harmless I mean girls get them all the time, right. There's nothing wrong with thinking about how good Santana's hair cut was, or how it soft it might be, or how hot she looked the other day in her dark blue skinny jeans and tight blue graphic v-neck. Oh god I have to stop thinking about this.

"Q, in my office!" The coach yells. I can feel myself panicking what if she knows. I was tempted to drag my feet put this off as long as possible but if I did, I knew it could only get worse for myself. Walking into the coach's office, I hold my head up high carefully keeping my face blank. If she did know then I wasn't going to make this easy. I'm a Fabray and I could do this.

"You know, I learned a lot in special forces. I was on the strike team in Panama when we extracted Noriega. We took out the shepherd Then we went after the sheep." The coach started as soon as I entered. I don't bother to respond, trying to figure out what the hell this woman was talking about before she was ready for you to know was just an exercise in futility. I did however relax, it seemed for the moment my secret was still undiscovered.

"Do you know what this means for you mini me?" Coach Sue questions not bothering to look up from mixing her latest protein shake.

"Coach" I respond simply causing what I'm sure was supposed to be some kind of smile but came across as some horrifying twisted grimace to appear on the crazy woman's face. I know better than most that Coach wasn't as horrible as people thought but she definitely had a cruel streak. But I don't judge her for it, with my recent actions I shouldn't judge anyone ever again.

"Of course not, that would require you to have my superior intelligence. So I'll tell you Q. You and Brittany are going to convince those hopeless monkey children that you need someone else to take over glee. Make that man child feel his impending doom come crashing down on him" Coach exclaimed ending her instructions with a fist being brought down firmly against her desk.

Great another task that I have very little interested in completing, I wanted to just walk out of this office. Hell if I was completely honest I'd start walking and I wouldn't stop till I was so far out of this town google maps couldn't find me.

"And who is this person that you want to replace Schuester?" I question instead, There was no escape for me now. I had to keep my spot on top, I needed my parents to stay away for the next eight months at least. There was so much that I needed and so many ways I have no control over any of it. But this at least will hopefully keep Man hands away from Finn.

"I'm sure you've heard of Dakota Stanley" Couch slyly mentions and I can't help the flash of amusement. That tiny man was going to eat glee club alive. Now I just needed to come up with the best way to get glee to agree and I knew the easiest way would be to convince one of the original members, now to just figure out which one.

"Genius" I respond as I start towards the door, I need to hit my locker before school starts.

Coach doesn't bother responding I guess she was too busy cackling evilly to care. I rush to my locker, since the bell will be ringing any second. Grabbing my stuff I try to convince myself to keep focused, just grab my stuff and head to class. Do not look down the hall I repeat to myself just because yesterday I finally talked to Santana again did not mean I was going to give that frustrating but I guess somewhat charming woman anymore attention than my thoughts already do. I lasted till I grabbed my books and was closing my locker. It was like I could feel her, I just knew that those Dark brown eyes were on me. I found my eyes meeting hers as she turned towards me properly. I can't see her hesitate but I guess she makes a decision as she walks towards me. Santana was dressed simply in a skinny jeans, and her standard v neck shirt but today she had added a dark brown leather jacket. It looked soft and well worn, but on Santana I found it perfect. God what was wrong with me, it must be the pregnancy hormones I reason with myself as I try to force myself not to run away from all these confusing and completely unnecessary feelings this woman brought forth in me.

"Hey" Santana greets breaking me from my thoughts if she had noticed my staring there was no clue by her greeting. Taking in her looks up close I can't help but notice once again that she looked dead on her feet. God did this woman ever sleep and why the hell did I care.

"Hey, heading to first?" I respond before turning towards the class in an invitation to walk together.

"Yeah, I had Rachel over last night, Turns out the girl is a nightmare to get ready around. Takes even longer than Kurt does in the morning, I eventually just left for practice then showered here" Was my response and once again I'm brought up short, "Rachel spent the night." I blurt out and I'm horrified, why the hell did I say that aloud. M-Maybe I didn't, I mean I'm pregnant, I'm all out of it. Yeah, that's it, I just manage to convince myself but then I look at Santana's face. She's looking at me from the side as we weave in between other students headed to class. She has that infuriating smirk on again and those eyes, god those eyes were basically shining with amusement.

 **Santana's Pov**

This morning started off both better than I could have hope and worse. Turns out I had no nightmares that night but I think that's because it took forever to fall asleep and Rachel apparently gets up before even I do in the morning to go for a run and whatever else she had explained when she woke me to join her. Even thinking those words I could hear the sarcasm dripping from them. However out of everything that could have gone wrong with my impulsive decision to invite Rachel over yesterday was that I was exhausted once again.

I left Rachel with Kurt as I headed into school for a nonscheduled practice with a few guys and Puck from the team. I wasn't going to go but Rachel had heard me get the phone call and Kurt decided to take my advice I guess because he offered to walk to school with her. Practice mostly consisted of just fooling around but after the win yesterday, I think we just needed to get out some of that restless energy. It was nice though that with Puck and I getting along most of the team has decided to leave me alone. There was still a few like Karofsky but I didn't much care about that.

Later that morning I was just closing my locker when I looked up meeting Quinn's eyes. I wanted to go talk to her, I don't care that I shouldn't, I don't care that this me wasn't good for anyone. I hesitate anyways though, Walking over there would make me happy and I know better than most that I didn't deserve it. She's still looking at me though and I can't find the strength to fight it this time. I may not deserve it but I wanted it.

"Rachel spent the night" she blurts out as we walk to class and I can't even begin to hide my amusement from her horrified tone. I watch as a blush spreads up her neck to her cheeks and I can't help the flash of arousal that tingles down my spine at the sight. God this woman was beautiful and the glow she now had that I knew had to do with the little human inside her didn't help matters either. She's glaring at me now as we stop beside her desk and I can't help thinking once again that I have far to much fun bugging people.

"Don't be jealous beautiful, you know I'd let you sleep in my bed anytime" I flirt outrageously. Her outraged face just destroyed my resolve and I break down laughing. But I quickly push it down, I needed to get a grip before I have another fit like the one in the bathroom after Rachel had left.

"Lopez" she hisses as her eyes frantically search the other students trying to judge if anyone had heard me. That quickly brought me back to earth, must be Karma I swear. Not only was this girl completely taken and pregnant, she was also apparently a stereotypical cheerleader. Nothing to ruin her reputation. It was something that I hated being involved with, I have an ex that was like that, our relationship only really consisted of her getting off in one closet after another, pun intended. Luckily the school bell interrupted what was quickly turning into a awkward situation. Sending the still glaring girl a small smile, I head to my desk. My thoughts couldn't help going to the word Quinn had told me in the locker room what felt like a lifetime ago. I really didn't know her.

From that point forward my day just got better and better. In first period we were given a large research project on some stupid book that was going to take me forever to read. Then Quinn apparently decided that my flirting was too much cause she proceeded to spend the rest of the day glued to freaking Finn Hudson. Glee had a lunch rehearsal, but I didn't bother going I agreed I'd try out after school, I had no desire to waste my lunch time today. Instead I spent lunch hiding in the auditorium rafters trying to start reading of mice and men. At least it wasn't huge and it was kinda interesting. I liked to read but I preferred to read mine in Spanish. I flash to the last time I had raised those complaints out loud. It was only a few weeks before the accident, and I was lounging in the living room on the couch upside down. I was glaring at the book I had thrown to the ground moments earlier.

"Mija, what is wrong?" My mama questions as she joins me upside down on the couch. Papa says I get my weird habits from her. "I don't understand why I can't just read and write Spanish" I almost whine, I don't get why it was so difficult for me to just get the hang of written English already. Mami doesn't respond at first, instead, she just rolls onto the floor and turns to face me. She's just calmly looking at me with a small smile, I wanted to squirm away from her gaze.

"Oh my sweet Mija, you'll get it eventually. You're already more proficient at it then you were even just six months ago" she reassures running her fingers through my hair, relaxing me.

I was just so frustrated, I could do it but it took so much longer and things kept getting rumbled.

The spike of sadness that hit me with this memory had me gasping for breath. I could feel her, smell her but she wasn't here. I couldn't fall into her arms and I never would be able to again.

I'm not sure how long I'm just sitting there lost in my memories when I'm interrupted by two people entering the room.

"Hey, wait up. You can't do this to Mr. Schuester." A voice calls out and I quickly recognize Rachel and Hudson. I wonder what Rachel could be doing to a teacher. I think I'm turning into a creeper with all these conversations I keep overhearing.

" What? make him a hero? Once we hire Dakota and win nationals, he'll thank me for it. You heard Quinn. It's all about winning." Rachel defends and I have a feeling Quinn was up to something with this. Which kinda sucks for Kurt but I quickly decide I'm not getting involved this time. If glee was meant to stick around it would, plus Quinn's evil was kind of fun to watch as long as it remains harmless. "Since when?" Finn asks and I could tell he was now lost in this conversation. I just couldn't see the appeal of this guy, he was a moron. "Look, you have your popular clique and your football And your cliché of a blonde girlfriend, Glee is my one shot. If this doesn't work out, then my whole high school life Will be nothing but an embarrassment. Rachel dramatically explains and I have to cover my snort of amusement. If that's her only problem then she was doing better than most. Not that I'm saying she had it easy but I'd trade her in a heartbeat.

"What's a cliché? is that a bad thing? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Is this one of those chick things where you're pissed about one thing, but you're just pretending. Like you're pissed about something else? 'Cause…" Finn starts and I have a really bad feeling about this, I should not be hearing this conversation at all. I scramble quietly to my feet. " I don't know what you're talking about." Rachel denies. "Well, for a while there, you were kind of all over me And now you just yell at me all the time. It makes me think that you're still upset about what happened in the auditorium. Finn explains and I'm moving even quicker to the door. Why did I have to be so far away, damn it. "I'm not. I've moved on and I'm focusing on my career now." Rachel continues to hedge but I could tell by the diva's tone that Finn was about to get a verbal smack down. " "So you want to talk about it?" oh god please tell me he did not use those words. I was almost at the back exit, getting down from the rafters took way too long in my opinion. "No. And neither do you. It's kind of ironic how you're Mr. Popular, and I'm just this nobody that everybody makes fun of, But I have enough confidence to say out loud that what happened between us in the auditorium was real. You have feelings for me And you just don't have the guts to admit it. We're hiring Dakota Stanley." Rachel informs Finn and I slouch, shit I was so close to escaping without hearing that. "Even if it means me quitting?" Finn finally asks defeated. I hear Rachel's simple response of yes as I finally make it out of the auditorium. For fucks sakes sometimes I really hated my ability to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. All this wasn't even my drama and I was already sick of it.

So let's see, Quinn and Finn are dating, Quinn gets drunk and ends up pregnant with Puck's kid. Quinn decides to lie to everyone. Finn and Rachel do something they shouldn't have and I'm the only one that knows all of this, lovely.

Moving to my locker I'm met by Kurt and Mercedes. "Girl, you will never guess what happened in glee" Mercedes starts as soon as I reach them. I just raise an eyebrow before opening my locker and grabbing my books. "Rachel and Quinn convinced the rest of the club that we need to hire a choreographer for sectionals" Kurt picked up from where Mercedes trailed off. Hmm, I guess that's the Dakota Stanley that Rachel had mentioned.

"Ok and is that a good or bad thing?" I question, maybe I could use this as an excuse to back out of joining glee. "Don't know yet" Mercedes starts but I quickly become distracted as I look over to Quinn's locker. It seemed Finn was down with his secret conversation because he was know once again attached to Quinns face indulging in what I'm sure he thinks is a very sexy kiss. This guy had the girl, yeah he didn't know the truth but as far as he's concerned he's cheating on his pregnant girlfriend. God what a fucking dick. I was getting angrier the more I watched. "Earth to Santana" Kurt says waving a hand in front of my face before turning to see where I was looking.

"They're revolting aren't they" Kurt offers and I could hear a pain in his voice. Looking at his face I recognized the problem immediately, he was looking a Finn like I was just looking at Quinn.

Great another person obsessed with fucking Finn Hudson.

"Yeah" I mumble before disappearing into the crowd, I needed some space, I was getting to the point that I didn't know if I'd be able to stop the anger that's simmering under my skin.

Sadly long before I'm ready the day is over and I'm entering the choir room.

"Welcome back Santana, I've heard from both Rachel and Kurt that you would be auditioning today, is that still the plan?" Mr. Schuester questions as everyone took their seats to face me. Great I think sarcastically.

"Yes, I'm going to play the piano as well" I state walking over to the piano. The song I had picked yesterday with Rachel no longer seems fitting so I was going to wing it.

My lover's got humour

She's the giggle at a funeral

Knows everybody's disapproval

I should've worshipped her sooner

If the heavens ever did speak

She's the last true mouthpiece

Every Sunday's getting more bleak

A fresh poison each week

"We were born sick"

You heard them say it

My church offers no absolutes

She tells me "worship in the bedroom

The only heaven I'll be sent to

Is when I'm alone with you

I was born sick, but I love it

Command me to be well

Amen, Amen, Amen

Take me to church

I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies

I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife

Offer me that deathless death

Good God, let me give you my life

[x2]

If I'm a pagan of the good times

My lover's the sunlight

To keep the goddess on my side

She demands a sacrifice

Drain the whole sea

Get something shiny

Something meaty for the main course

That's a fine looking high horse

What you got in the stable?

We've a lot of starving faithful

That looks tasty

That looks plenty

This is hungry work

Take me to church

I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies

I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife

Offer me that deathless death

Good God, let me give you my life

[x2]

No masters or kings when the ritual begins

There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin

In the madness and soil of that sad earthly scene

Only then I am human

Only then I am clean

Amen, Amen, Amen

Take me to church

I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies

I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife

Offer me that deathless death

Good God, let me give you my life

[x2]

The whole time I was singing Take me to church by Hozier, I had my eyes closed. This song meant so much to me, constantly giving me strength when being in this hateful world became too much. The other glee kids remained quiet for far too long in my opinion but I guess I technically came out to them all with that song. Good thing I didn't care.

"That was amazing Santana" Will Schuester starts causing the majority of people in the club to join in.

 **A/N: So yes it's been a very long time but I had to sell my laptop last year for rent so until I fall on my luck again I will start updating again.**


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